Friday, December 31, 2010

Welcome 2011..


When the clock strikes twelve today, it begins the mark of another year, the year 2011. The people eagerly wait for a new year, with their minds capsized with so many new plans and resolutions and aspirations. The start should be as brilliant as possible so that the rest of the year is as joyful and merry-full as the beginning. It's like a festival. People are so happy to enter into the new year. The aspirations are high, and are looking forward to achieve them. 





So, is it not just any other day like the 1st of any month? Probably, not. This one day is special to everyone. A decade has passed in this 21st century and the beginning of another decade begins with this year, 2011. Many people have already made their resolutions and are anxiously looking forward to this very day. But, when the year begins, the first day is incomparably exquisite. But, as days pass by, we are obliged to forget that the new year has already begun. We tend to keep aside our resolutions. No offence? This is just my opinion. There are people who strictly follow their pre-defined Resolutions. I appreciate your effort and hope that you carry on further. I am talking about a person like me. I set the last day of the year for the things which I would like to do in the coming year. I so set. The day, 1st of January arrives. I am compelled to enjoy the whole day. Then comes the second day and the third day. Then suddenly, I wake up one morning and find out that the day is somewhere in the end of December,2011. I look back the year as I always do to find myself that I had done nothing and then the questions of the resolutions. None were accomplished. I fall back in the bed and try to curse myself and the time for being so fast that it didn't give me chance to try out my plan or the resolutions which I had been making since the last five years, the same thing; the same resolutions, plans.


Now, I look back at this year. The whole period of a year is not a great time. It would be all about college and holidays and nothing purposeful. I would rather talk about the whole decade. The first decade of the 21st century. The things which I learnt, I missed, I enjoyed,  feared, I cried for, et cetera. The whole teenage saga of the the decade. I don't have to mention that that people learn a lot from the time they were a child and to the time they become an adult. That's the common human behavior to learn things and grow up with the situations and live the moment. I have lived many moments. Actually, it is really hard to recollect the year 2000. But I can give a glimpse of the things which I can very well remember. First thing that comes to my mind are the natural disasters and the horrible accidents that shook the whole world. The first one is the Earthquake in Gujarat. I was actually there when it struck the plight of many people. There was a huge loss; both of life and property. That was one incident that still moves in my mind fresh as a blossomed flower. Then the Tsunami, and that to be the day after the Christmas. Though I wasn't there but, the feeling still lives in the corner of the mind. Then the Twin-tower clash. That was another big disaster. Then, there were Riots and so many dreadful and horrible things. You might be thinking that all that I remember is what came in the news, disasters and accidents. Unfortunately, the answer is Yes. I can't remember, say like "What happened on June28, 2004 at 5:30 IST?". I sure can't remember things like that. But what about any happy moments?. Well, actually it is quite hard to recollect such things. May be because I am not a ever-happy guy. People have certain hard phase, which I think every one goes through and probably this decides what your future is all about. I guess that phase isn't over yet. So, when I try to think about any such moments, they are darkened by that. Hmm. Sorry. I got off the topic. So, getting back to bore you people. 


I was told many times that this is the crucial year of your life. If you do well, then you will be happy for the remaining life. Firstly, when I was appearing for the 10th Board exams. Many people said that it is the only crucial year, which would define my fat about the future. Sure, it was important and I am not getting them wrong. But, when it was over, then it was or the +2. I was struck with the same dialogue. Well, okay fine. Another crucial year passed and finally joined for bachelor's degree. But still I am being haunted with the same dialogue. May be I suppose, life is full of endless crucial years. 



What am I now? What did I think will be some ten years back? Ten years back, I never used to think about future because I never knew about what will happen if I do that, this or what should I do so as to get that after a long run? Obviously, everyone wouldn't have thought when they were of some 10-12 years of age. But when we grow up, we realize things and the happenings around us. That is a good sign. One should definitely know about the happenings. And we get mature enough to think about what we like and what we want. We set an ambition, we strive for it. We try to achieve it. This is life. Life doesn't have a single definition. Each one of us has a specific definition of life. Each one of us has dreams and we would like to make the dream a reality and live our LIFE. That is life of your own definition. You ask every individual about "What is life?", each one has a specific theory of theirs. Well, in this decade I have made myself to think for a better cause. I have learnt many things. And would like to work on my definition of life. 

Hope !

Life is short. Isn't it? A minimum span of sixty (60) years is small. Do you think so? Well, this depends on how you take time into your hands. If you live in each and every moment, then it sure looks like a "LARGE" life. But, if we think about the coming moment and not caring about the present moment. Then, sure the life is "SHORT". There is an instinct of fear, which does not allow people to live in the moment they have to. They constantly think about their future. What is gonna happen tomorrow? What will happen if I do that, this? What ...? What ....? Questions always bother us all the time. But, Life is not about to ponder about those questions because they portray our future which is uncertain and precisely depends on the actions in the present. So, I would like you to live the moment no matter in how much difficult you are in, try to overcome with your best possible effort. And when faced by a difficulty, never ever think about the result because that is like stepping on a  broken stone. Always try to thing about the possibilities and the way in which it could be solved. 

I wish you a very happy and prosperous new year. May this year bring you joy and you succeed in everything you do. Have a joyful year ahead. And hope you achieve your aspirations and dreams. LIFE IS ON A MOVE, ENJOY EACH AND EVERY SECOND.

"
Past has taught Lessons.
Memories have brought Happiness.
  Time has taught Living.
Mistakes have brought Wisdom

Now, New is the Year.
 New are the Aspirations and Dreams
 Behold the Newness.
 Step forward, Step Ahead.
 Here it comes, yet another Glorious Year. 

Welcome it. 
With a Smile on your Face.
And Hope in the Heart
Cherish the Past.  
Replenish the Future
And Never Forget,
Live the Moment.  

"





P.S. :: I might moved randomly with my thoughts and the writing was out of order. I hope you to excuse me for that. Anyways, I wish you A Happy, Glorious  & Prosperous New Year. Have fun and always Take Care. Catch you in the next year. Till then, take care and ENJOY.!!


Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Dream.


Dream. Dreams. There is a minor difference between those two words. We dream to achieve something. And sometimes dreams take the solace corner of the mind and generate new things. We find the peace in those dreams. When we dream, we get involved in them, no matter how difficult they are or even if they are impossible. Because they are dreams, the imaginary illusions and the portray of different things which we always wanted to happen to us. When we dream we are the creator of our own kingdom. We rule, we design and mold things in such a manner that gives us the satisfaction and the solace we need. We call it dreaming. It is never wrong to dream. We should dream. We dream about the things which are basically not achievable easily. This means we dream BIG. Big in the sense, when there is something we don't have and dream about it, we call it dreaming BIG. We dream in-variedly about something, which is probably out of reach. Dreams are  always pleasant, which makes us feel one among them and we are the architects, engineers and everything. Because we are dreaming so we can put any subject into practice easily without any sort of hesitation. What ever we dream, we just love to be in our dreams. And when we control what we are dreaming, it is called "Day-dreaming" and in such a occasion, everything is according to our wish.

I said in the opening lines, dream and dreams are two different words. The dreams which we dream and live are just temporary and none-the-less we like to stay with them. And to dream is to set a goal. A summit which has to be reached and for that just sitting in your room and wondering of how to get to the destination doesn't help. We need to wake up from the dream, work like no one else could have and once you reach your dream, the summit, the world is yours. You are at the top of the world, aren't you? The difficulty lies in the path only. The path is never a straight path and without troubles. It is not your goal, you are heading forward for if you start your journey and find everything according to your wishes and feel satisfied with what you are doing, I suppose you are definitely in the wrong track. Because, nothing is easy in this world. It could be that you are so brilliant that you aren't facing any problems. I say so because you are one hundred percent PERFECT and truly unmatched person just like GOD. I am not letting you perfectionists down. I was just trying to say that, when everything favors us, it won't favor for long. So, keep a watch.


Coming back to the topic, Dream. I recently had some weird dreams. All continuously, night after night. I suggest you readers to skip this, it might bore you and it will be off the hook- like thing. So here they go like this.


THROWN OUT OF HOSTEL.

Dreams don't have a perfect beginning nor a perfect ending. So, I don't know how it all started. I was in the hostel room. I guess I am quite a naughty kid. No one would believe that in reality, as I am not one of such a kind. The hostel rooms and the college was attached. Don't blame me, I am not the architect here. I just have a room in the third floor and the adjacent block has the classes. It's kind of a weird. Now, i realize that. There were two watch-mans who were walking past my room. Something happened and I don't know what I did, I guess I whacked them and was trying to lock them in my room. I didn't know what I was thinking. As I was trying to lock the room, I failed to do so. Eventually, the door didn't close. I ran out of sight before they could get a glimpse of me. I succeeded in this. I thought of waiting for sometime and then return back. I was walking past the classes and the libr.... LIBRARY. Where did it come from? I have no idea. It was in the second floor and all open. No closed doors, nothing like that and it also had the stairs to go to the third floor. It was kind of open. A madam caught me and started checking me out. I don't know why, but I was kind of a hurry. After she was done, I thought of going back to my room and check out the situation. There were people moving around and and the situation is quite odd. All were looking a quite a of weird at me. I went to my room, and found nothing inside. None of my things were there. Some other person was there packing his things, some card-board and and wooden planks. "What was going on?". I realized, "I am thrown out of college hostel, because of that prank." I thought of the relative possibilities which I have to sustain outside hostel. M brain was fast in thinking that. And I found no other alternative. I just couldn't bear it any more. I was in a sort of shock. I think I moved my head in dis-agreement with the situation. I woke up. "Thank Goodness, It was a dream".  I sighed in relief. That was one horrible dream.


IT WAS EASY. WASN'T IT? OH NO.!

The exploration of the dream and the entities in the layout where we wander around in the so called dream are really imaginary. Sometimes, there are places which don't even exist and things which can't be done in reality. But, as in a dream there is no control over the subject, it becomes to look like real compelling us to show our heroic nature where we are embodied ourselves. Like-wise was one such dream. The people were captivated in a locker type room and it was underwater. There were bad people taking out the good people, torturing them. I don't know from where and how I came to picture. I was in the middle of the vast underwater mansion like thing, or call it a very big submarine. Actually it is not a submarine either. It is more like an underwater house covered with glass and also had a small kind of working factory for the criminals over there. So, I was in the middle of that building. I could see no casualties. Obviously it was dark, as it is under the water and had less supply of electricity. I finally found a man. But he was dead. He was one of the criminal gang. Besides him lay a heavy gun. I guess its some kind of a machine gun. I took it, it was heavy. "How to check the bullets?". I didn't bother to check, because a small wrong move can trigger those people and they would be coming running for me. Suddenly there was exchange of gun-fires. I thought the police and the SWAT had arrived. I saw the big heavy people running with guns in both their hands. I was in the floor above them and I could see them clearly. Then I thought I myself could clean up the mess. I had a Gun in my hand. I aimed it at the people with great difficulty. The firings in the adjacent rooms has increased and there is no name of quietness over there. So, I thought it would be the right time. With great difficulty, I tried to pull the trigger. I have never kidded any one before. "What will happen, if I am arrested? What will be it like if I sit in Jail the remaining of my life?" . So were the fierce thoughts which flooded my brain at that time. But, I wanted to do something. So, now with full determination to kill them, I aimed and pulled the trigger. Something just went through the gun at light speed. I guess more than 30 bullets. That force kicked me back. I didn't expect this. And more over, I pulled the trigger only once. It neither did hit anyone. It was like shooting at the sun. The force made me hit the wall behind me. But, I was fine and luckily no one noticed me firing from the first elevation. This time, I sat firmly, very firmly and didn't aim, closed my eyes and pulled the trigger. When I opened, there was no one there. "Oh my God, did I kill everyone there?", I  thought. But there were only four bodies lying on the ground except the odd twenty or so. The firing in the adjacent room ceased and i slowly crawled to the stairs. I could find no one. But I was spotted by some one. "Throw your weapon and put you hands on the ground", a voice said. "Now, I am done for sure. It is SWAT and they are going to kill me." All the questions which I had earlier had came to my mind. "I killed someone...Arrest.. Jail....". I just couldn't take it any longer. So I moved the gun towards me and pulled the trigger. I felt something hit me. Now I am dead. I didn't feel any pain. It was easy to die. But unfortunately, I could still see. I had no blood on me. I still couldn't make out, whether I was dead or alive. I saw the police coming towards me and giving me a nice punch. That strong punch woke me up. "AAH, Thank God. I am not ARRESTED". It was a dream, a horribly real experience dream. 


IN NEWSPAPER

I woke up one morning and was on the way to the morning daily breakfast and saw a glimpse of the additional paper of the daily newspaper of the "Indian Express".I saw something familiar on the right corner of the front page of the additional page on the Sunday edition. Three words, which were too much familiar. It read "The Shaded Shadows". I saw it while I was having lunch. "What is that?", I thought for a second. "Oh my god, It is my blog. WOW..". I completed my breakfast as fast as  could and ran to see the newspaper. I was on my way to my room and the newspapers are generally kept at the entrance of the hostel. I felt something vibrating in my hand and making some screeching noise as well. I had to look at it. So I opened my eyes to find myself in bed my newspaper was left in the dream. I couldn't even read it. If I had read it, I would have enjoyed the dream much more later when I woke up. I was disappointed by the alarm call. "When will such a dream come again?" and this time no alarm for sure. :P



P.S. :: Thanks for reading. Please drop by your opinions. And I would like you to share your wonderful dreams also. 


Monday, December 27, 2010

Random Thoughts.


Random Thought 1.0



" It is much more happier to stay in a place where no one knows us than to stay in a place where everybody thinks wrongly about us. "


Random Thought 1.1




"TODAY' is "TOMORROW'S" wasted "YESTERDAY" .



Random Thought 1.2



"The unpredicted uncherished unprotected 
unbiased unravelled mysteries lie just in front of eyes."



P.S. These are just some random thoughts. Actually each thought deserves a separate post, but I didn't make it that way. Thanks for going through. I suggest you to drop by your comments in regard with the thoughts whether they are apt or not. And the original post can be obtained at www.wingedreams19.blogspot.com (or) www.ajaykontham.co.cc


Friday, December 17, 2010

This year...



A week is over. Another came by and went off in a dilemma. "Hey buddy, it's December", heard this while I was walking back to my room. I barely remember this year,2010. Its DECEMBER. It was so fast. I never knew when time flew by and left me to the last month of the year. What about the resolutions I made at the start of the year? Do I remember any of those? Frankly speaking, "I do not remember even a single resolution!" . I guess, it's time to make new ones. Right?




I am not worried about making a new set of resolutions by the beginning of the next year. I am feeling it quite awkward. It is because, when I try to make some things straight and absolutely nothing goes well, then what is the point in making such attempts and wasting time. I would like to make a long list of resolutions and with full determination to implement the very first day of the month January. But, sometimes things don't work as we think and always gives us a blow at the right and the perfect time. The new year starts and with in no time its December. It's hard to believe though, but time flies at the speed of light. Before, I could even think and even try to implement any of my so called resolutions, the year comes to an end and I write the same old thing. Another passes by and I question myself, "What did do this year?". The answer from inside me echoes,"Nothing".




Nothing. I just can't believe it. 350 days passed, just like a whoosh. This is quite obsolete. Some days were longer and some days were shorter, but none of the days were like, "Wow, what a day is today? Surely I want to remember this day. I had some bad hiccups last night. And some bad days this year. Sometimes, I wish somethings shouldn't have happened. I do not know how this year is going to end, but I can tell with surety that this was not a good year. I realized so many things. I wish they never happened. I am stuck with one thing. I don't know whether it is for good or for bad. But, I just wish that didn't have happened, but somewhere in my heart, I wanted it to happen. I am not telling it, margining it as my personal thing. So, please don't mind about it. Besides that many unexpected things happened. 




Firstly, I wasn't stable. Stable in the sense, I was never in a fixed place. Once I bagged a College Hostel seat, which I never wanted, I had to settle here. I had to move on. Frankly, I hate the idea of college hostel and when the reason is so weird, " I don't eat food well, if I stay outside". Precisely, I was in four different places this year, constantly moving a shifting the heavy load. I guess it was in August, when I reached the last stand-out and I was told to stay here for another two years, until I complete my under-graduation. Well, so it is. Four months have passed and stepped deliberately into the fifth month. About academics, it's hard to say. The higher the difficulty and and the meaner are the subjects. The tougher the job gets to subside the literal weight on the shoulders. And I had a very unusual experience this time, while I was writing the exams. A typical feeling overcame my pestilent little brain. I just knew that something was wrong, but had nothing to straighten up the things. 




I had been finding a bit difficulty in adjusting the sudden changes in places. "Did I overcame it yet?". The answer is still a 'No'. I had been trying to figure it out, but I being so poor at statistics, couldn't actually figured it out correctly. Now, leaving about the odd things of the, "Has anything good happened to me this year?" . Hmm, as far as I can think of, "Nope, nothing good". The college had started and the atmosphere is getting a bit turgid. With the new semester on the start and a way too long time for competence, look forward to this semester to be good, if possible. Anyways leaving about the odds and the evens, I hope to make the best of this year and the coming year. So moving ahead..




Puzzle of the day !!! : Puzzle # 2

If you take a marker & start from a corner on a cube, what is the maximum number of edges you can trace across if you never trace across the same edge twice, never remove the marker from the cube, & never trace anywhere on the cube, except for the corners & edges?


And answer to the Puzzle#1::


18


Assume that initial there were 3*X bullets. 

So they got X bullets each after division. 

All of them shot 4 bullets. So now they have (X - 4) bullets each. 

But it is given that, after they shot 4 bullets each, total number of bullets remaining is equal to the bullets each had after division i.e. X 

Therefore, the equation is 
3 * (X - 4) = X 
3 * X - 12 = X 
2 * X = 12 
X = 6 

Therefore the total bullets before division is = 3 * X = 18

P.S. : I am not feeling well now, so may be the post could be boring and off the hood like thing. If you have read it,  I truly appreciate your patience and thank you.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Dear Readers ...


Dear Readers,


I am back. I had been a sort of busy with the exams. Though, they were completed a week ago, but I had been too much obsessed with the after-effect of these exams. God, it was like hell. The whole week of the calcareous insufficiency of time and exploitation of human brain. I actually wanted to write at length about it, but later called it off. I actually don’t want to remember that horrible week again. I actually don’t know what exams are for. Are they for testing our caliber and how well we know the subject and how well we can manage the knowledge we gained through it. If it is so, then they could have made the paper easy for testing the depth of the subject. Instead, they make it tough like they are preparing to fail all people. Secondly, they test our ability to make decisions under pressure. The syllabus is vast like the  ocean and the time is too little. It feels as if someone puts a gun at the head and tells to study. The ticking clock is the gun here. I look at the clock, it moves too fast as usual but it sure imbibes in me another new element called “Tension”. Damn, it is horrible to study under pressure and the newly added tension. The tension in mind that the syllabus can’t be completed on time. And to add to the new element just found are the previous papers. They are like counting stars in the sunny morning. Where do they get all those questions from?  I sometimes wonder what if I give the toughest paper ever with the least known questions to the students to the people who prepare the paper and give them a half-day to study. How would they write? They know everything, so they could write everything perfectly. But do they know everything?


Anyways, the exams are over. And the college was to begin immediately after the day of the exam. But, as a known fact no one turned up to college. But what was more to think was that they didn’t turn even after a week and some are enjoying with the self-declared holiday. And about me, I am a little worried about the consequences of bunking. We already got quite a good blow in the previous semester when all the students bunked. I just hope that it doesn’t happen like that. Well, coming to me now. Why hadn’t I been writing even after a week’s break? I reason is what I mentioned earlier. Adding to it, when I am at home, I surely can’t think anything when I am obsessed with TV and internet 24x7 hours. What about sleep? I don’t remember when I sleep, but I know that I sleep the least unlike during exams. I don’t know what happens during exams. Instead of my various activities to keep me alive the whole night, I tend to fail to study as well as keel me awake up the whole night though I really want to stay.


Leaving about it, next up is about my blog. Yeah, I planned a lot of things pre-exams. But, I am finding it a bit difficult in merging with my thoughts. I am thinking of changing the writing procedure and including new things for you dear readers. Please drop by your comments if there is any difficulty in reading due to the theme with which I dressed my blog, thinking that it looks good. May it’s just my opinion. So, if in case there is any difficulty in reading due to the contrast or anything, please feel free to drop by your suggestions.


I would like to thank all the new followers and my readers who take their time to read my posts. Thanks a ton. I would like to keep up the traffic and would try fascinating you with my new posts. So, keep reading and don’t forget to drop by your valuable comments. Now leaving you to continue with your daily chores, I am signing off. And as I mentioned earlier, I am changing the outlook of my blog. SO, I would be adding some puzzles, trivia or anything similar so that even if you get bored by the content above, may be you could survive with the ending lines of my blog. So, enjoy reading if you could. And today’s puzzle:

PUZZLE #1:

Three friends divided some bullets equally. After all of them shot 4 bullets the total number of bullets remaining is equal to the bullets each had after division. Find the original number divided.
Note: Answer will be written in the next consecutive blog. Please try your hand at the puzzle.


P.S.  :: Thanks for your time to read my post. If you have any suggestions regarding any changes to be me made, please drop your suggestions in the comment box below. Thank you. 

Monday, November 15, 2010

I Live !!!




" Life is full and overflowing with the new. But it is necessary to empty out the old to make room for the new to enter."
- Eileen Caddy


" The strangeness of time. Not in its passsing, which can seem infinite, like a tunnel whose beginning you have forgotten, but in the sudden realization that something finite, has passed, and is irretrievable."
- Joyce Carol Oates


"A man starts to live when he can live outside himself."
- Albert Einstein




"Always remember to slow down in life; live, breathe, and learn; take a look around you whenever you have time and never forget everything and every person that has the least place within your heart"
- Anonymous


" To live is the rarest thing in the world, Most people exist, that is all."
- Oscar Fingall O'Flahertie Wills Wilde



I live in the wilderness of man’s unseen, unknown and undesirable thoughts. I live with a stupid notion of the life waiting for when will it all end. I live in the craziest of the happenings when its hard to decide what actually I am doing. I live in the critical stage of life when I could see the time pass by me and I don’t give a damn care about it.


  I live with the prejority. I live in the whole ego world. There is a strong human alibi called EGO which sometimes never leaves the man.


I live with the stupidity of the people thinking something, telling  something and doing something else. I live with a greatest desire of achieving what no one has ever achieved. I live with the thoughts of my own . Clearly uncared and untamed.


I live in the humorous society which have some principles just to giggle and make the hell out of it.I live in the complete boredom of today's unbiased work and the laziness of the next moment.


I live in the generous state where team work seldom means one does the work and the others take the credit. I live in the pre-dominal state where the people always have to depend on others for their and every single work. I live in a seducing society where money is much more preference than the people and their thoughts. And people would get down to the meanest things for the sake of money.


I live in a diversified state where promises are broken like the old glass and blown to ashes. And as if no promises were made and cherish their own insignificant in-adolescent behavior. 


I live in a self determined state of achieving  where reaching goal is the limit. I live in an educational society where everyone is educated but doesn't act like one. I live in the complexity of the human character where the so called protectors  are themselves corrupt .


I live in  a human grooving incapability where a word given is forgotten.I live in a ever criticizing human artificiality and duplicity. I live in the mans stubbornness of in-perplexity. I live in the human obsessed and attractive world where there is desire for everything and if not achieved leads to fatal consequences.


I live in  a harmony of good company where they respect my ideologies and I accept and respect theirs. And there is mutual understanding among each other and everyone.I live in patriarchal society where there is  male dominance and the dominance is sometimes wrongly utilized. 


I live in a state-of-unknown where people realize their calibre only after they have achieved which they never thought could achieve and when pointed by a foreigner  I live in a excellence at extremities  of human thinking where one spends money for work and the other thrives for the same money.


I live in the complexity of the future which is unknown and optimism is a path for it. But sometimes ruled by pessimism.I live in the frustrating present and the ever criticizing un-liad future thoughts. I live in the rebellion of mankind who consider themselves superiors and the rest trash.


I live in the uncertainty of tomorrow and the gruesome of the ticking clock. I live in a multitude of people where there is every liability of wrong conception. I live at the edge of everyone’s wrongly guided  misconception.I live in the odessay of human unlikeliness spending much time in the ugliness rather than creative.


I live in the whole rational world and awkwardness of reality. I live with the irrational, unbiased, critical and revolutionized thoughts.




P.S. :: There are too many thoughts in the beginning. Hope you like the post. And kindly drop a comment, whether I wrote was appropriate or not. Thank you.
Image Courtesy :: Google Images.

P.P.S :: Exams are round the corner, so I won't be writing posts often. I suggest to keep up with the older posts of mine, if they may interest you.




Wednesday, November 10, 2010

One Night.

NOTE :: This is an attempt by me in fiction. Read in a 'Narrative tone' and visualizing the scenes if possible. 




 

I was walking back home after a busy day at work. It was 21st of November and mid winter. The cold was killing and freezing my nerves. It was night and pitch dark/ The roads were silent. I could hear the ticking sound of my wrist watch. I gave it a glance. It showed 2330 hours. The calmness of the night was killing me. I have never been so late at work. And that day it was rather unusual. The roads aren't empty even if the clock strikes twelve. A vibration in my right pocket of my overcoat caught my attention. My phone was ringing. I slipped my old sleazy phone and flipped it open to check who was calling. It was the call from the customer care, saying that if I don't pay the due by tomorrow, my connection will be invalid. I just ignored it and kept it safely back in the pocket. I was on the pavement striding back to my rented house. "Oh my god!!", I exclaimed remembering the ugly old house owner. He was so stubborn. He was never interested in giving the room to me, as if the room was once visited and stayed by Queen Elizabeth. It was one ugly broken room. If I had not taken it, no one else would have taken it. I found it much cheaper than the remaining houses, at that time. It was a small room with a broken window and a small shabby bathroom. The public bathrooms are much better that that one. A small broken bed, which I think was used by his great-great grandfather. And the room was almost falling apart. I guess it was built is some early 16th century. I can tell this by the architecture it had and the material with which it was made, which was so weak. I had no other choice. I just came with a few clothes and a few books in my hand to do my studying thing. I knew no one in this foreign land. All were busy with their work and not even during graduation. I found no one quite helpful to me. I was alone.



The chilling night froze my legs and I could walk no further. I saw a park near by. It was calm and had a bench. I went near it collected some dry leaves and lit it with the lighter. And I sat down thinking of making money as fast as I can. My eyes caught the attention of the beauty of the night. The night working clad and the buildings lit up the dark night. The reflection of the light in the river was mesmerising to watch. I totally forgot about myself and let the images of my childhood play in front of my eyes. My hand slowly went into the left pocket of my overcoat, where I usually keep my cigarettes. "Damn", exclaimed I. I didn't had the money to buy that even. I woke up from my childhood-projection and started feeling the warmth of the burnt dry leaves. The night owls were out for their preys and making conversations to each other. The squealing noise of the blind bats was too much annoying. There was a swing at the corner of the park. Actually, it was no more a park and no more a playing area for the kids. It was an abandoned park. All that were left were the traces of the things which were used and left behind. The cold wind gave me a small chill in the spine. The heat was dying out, the leaves were flying randomly and I could not sustain the cold. I collected much more dry leaves and broken twigs and made the fire. Again my hand went to the left pocket for a cigarette as a habit. But I could find one. I just wasn't feeling well. I had a very bad day at work. I was pinned up by my boss for the mistake I never did. I knew a man, who was too jealous of me. This was my fifth job this year, and I could not just lose it again, due to some ugly bastard eying my work. I was too much sincere and though I did the projects and work, he always took the credit for an excuse to be in my group. I should have never allowed that and should have asked for a different group. I never knew his ugly thoughts and ideas for getting up the rank utilizing others hard work. I should have realized it much earlier. Today, he just made it a big issue by claiming me to the culprit in not submitting the project. But in reality, I had submitted it the previous day. I had to stay up the evening and re-submit it. It made me late. I was the last one to leave the workplace. It was cold outside and I just couldn't bear it. I was breaking the twigs in my hand as i was thinking about the events that happened in the morning. It made me angry, but I could do nothing.


The fire went down the fury and ended into the smoke while I recovered myself from the eventful history of the day. I could feel a sort of comfort in me with the small heat I made. I was now capable of making the journey back to my room. The streets were damn too silent. I looked at my watch. It was 0030 hours. It was too dark and the street lights were flickering. The incandescent light fell on the pavement on which I was walking. I was still in deep thought about the person who was acting so loyal but actually wasn't. I was way too far from my room. Actually, it takes me almost an hour to reach my room on a crowded evening. But today, I didn't feel like going to my room. But the cold was compelling to go as fast as I could. But I could walk faster. I saw a man pass by me fast on the other side of the road. I thought he was also late and hence was walking fast to reach his destination. Seconds passes by and the man disappeared in the turn at the end of the street.


"Somebody Help", a fine lady's voice broke the silence of the night. The voice revealed some sort of frightfulness. I quickly ran to the direction o the noise. It was the same path which the man took. I reached the corner of the road and gave a peek at the side road. It was dark, much darker than the remaining area. But the slightly glowing street light was sufficient to know what was happening. A man was holding a gun. I don't know what type of gun it was. He didn't see me nor did the lady. The man was holding a purse in the other hand and I saw her giving the cell phone also. She was literally crying, but with no voice. As he had already ordered her to remain silent or else he would shoot. I slowly crawled behind the shadows and tried to go near the scene. As I was crawling a hard thing in my pocket hit my hand. It was my phone. I immediately dialed 911.


"Hello, you have reached the emergency services", said a voice in the other side.

"He..e..ll..o", I was speaking, but I realised that the cold had freezed my jaws.

"What type of service do you want... Police, Ambulance, .. " continued the voice in the other side. I have never called for any emergency service and I never knew there was so much of ado in the procedure. I immediately responded

"Police, please. Its urgent. 27th street,Math street. Immediately please.", I said these with utmost caution without alarming the man and the lady.

"We will be sending a patrol car in a few seconds", said the voice from the control room and I was relieved from the call. I never knew that I could make a call. I forgot about the due in my phone balance.

Meanwhile....

"I have give you everything, I have. And I don't have anything else with me. Please let me go", said the lady from whom the man in the black overcoat took everything from her.He checked the money in the purse. It was huge and was sufficient for two months for a person like me.

"I am not satisfied with the money", said a hoarse voice, the voice of the man in the black overcoat. I anticipated his ugly desire. I no longer could stay in the dark and slowly came to light. The woman caught my attention and now I could see her face clearly. She was in a complete helpless state. And I no longer could take it.

"Please help me, he robbed me of everything and..." the lady was addressing me and the man turned towards me. I don't know what happened to me. I was bold enough to face him.

"Leave the lady alone. You got what you wanted. You got the money. So, now leave her alone.", I said in sort of a commanding voice.

"Its none of your business. Gett the helll out of here and better mind your work." darted the man pointing the revolver on me.

"I guess you also got what you wanted. So, now leavee..",  as I was saying, i was moving forward towards the lady.
I was moving slowly, but he could see me moving a opened fire in the empty air above. I could not it. It was rather too loud. I was shivering in one side and trying to protect the lady too. I was almost in the lion's den now. I was in the middle of both of them.

"Hey, don't you move a inch further or else I will shoot. Now, get the hell out of here.C'mon move your ass off here".
He pointed the gun towards me and the lady. I had a phone in my hand and I wasn't sure what to do. The cops haven't yet arrived. Its been some fifteen minutes and I couldn't the sight of them. I held the phone harder and thought of aiming it at the gun. I wasn't good at aim-hitting. I quickly pulled out my hand and threw it in the direction of the gun. I wasn't thinking. I could not. Luckily, it did hit the gun, but before it he had already shot the bullet. I could hear it in the silence of the night. I quickly gave a glance at the lady. She was fine. She wasn't hit. I thought, he missed the shot. The gun fell far from his reach. I quickly moved toward him to catch him. But was prepared for it and welcomed me with a punch. But luckily, I wasn't fast enough to receive it. I signalled the lady to run and call the cops. I stumbled and fell on him. This he didn't expect. This time, I tried giving him a nice shot. Though I did, but the frozen-stricken hands did not do much impact on him. I gave him another one. By now, he was ready to face it and defended it and gave me one hard hit. I moved back and fell on the ground. I could hear the siren of the cops. The could not feel anything. Just a small pain in the chest. But he hit me in the face. I saw blood oozing out of my chest. Now, it was hurting me much more. Was I shot? I went unconscious.


NEXT DAY NEWSPAPERS::

"A heroic man dies in an attempt to save a lady".



P.S. :: This is my first attempt on fiction. Actually I didn't want to end up like this. I am working on a similar genre of the story. So, if you people like this or have any suggestions to add, please drop by your suggestions. I would be glad to hear from you and would try to make it much more interesting.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Self Hypnosis !!!


 So, I guess you people might have been bored up with my work. Actually, I am in a sort of 'frustration', so while writing I think I am getting that into words and spoiling the whole agenda of my writings.The result is that my posts are 'Awesomely weird' not 'Weirdly awesome'. So, now I am with few tips which might help you relax. I actually found them in an application in my iPod and felt that I should share it with you people. 

So, this is the procedure to perform self-hypnosis ::



Steps :

a. Go to a quiet room and sit in any comfortable chair or couch. Although some people prefer to lie down, you are more susceptible to sleep than when sitting up. Whether you sit or lie, ensure you do not cross your legs or any part of your body. You may be in this position for a while and this could end up being uncomfortable.

b.Make sure you are not going to be disturbed for at least half an hour.

c.Close your eyes and work to rid your mind of any feelings of fear, stress, or anxiety. When you begin, you might find it difficult not to think. You may find that thoughts keep intruding. When this happens, don't try to force the thoughts out. Observe them impartially, and then let them slip away.

d.Recognize the tension in your body. Beginning with your toes, imagine the tension slowly falling away from your body and vanishing. Imagine it freeing each body part one at a time starting with your toes and working its way up your body. Visualize each part of your body becoming lighter and lighter as the tension is removed. Relax your toes, then your feet. Continue with your calves, thighs, hips, stomach and so on, until you've relaxed each portion, including your face and head. Using imagery techniques of something you find comforting or soothing, such as water (feel the water rushing over your feet and ankles, cleansing them of tension) can be effective as well.

e.Take slow, deep breaths. When you exhale, see the tension and negativity leaving in a dark cloud. As you inhale, see the air returning as a bright force filled with life and energy.

f.Appreciate the fact that you are now extremely relaxed. Imagine you are at the top of a flight of 10 stairs which at the fifth step start to submerge into water. Picture every detail of this scene from the top to the bottom. Tell yourself that you are going to descend the stairs, counting each step down, starting at 10. Picture each number in your mind. Imagine that each number you count is further down and one step closer to the bottom. After each number, you will feel yourself drifting further and further into deep relaxation. As you take each step, imagine the feel of the step under your feet. Once you are at the fifth step imagine and truly feel the refreshing coolness of the water and tell yourself that you are stepping into an oasis of purity and cleanliness. As you begin to descend the last five steps, start to feel the water getting higher and higher up your body. You should now start to feel somewhat numb and your heart will start to race a bit, but notice it and let any qualms about the situation just drift away into the water.

g.At this point at the bottom of the water you shouldn't really feel anything just a floating sensation you may even feel like you're spinning. Once you have achieved this state you should proceed to address your problems and decide upon what it is you want from where you are. [Note: if you do not feel as stated above, try again, slower with a will to grasp what is happening]. Now start to narrate what you are doing, speak in the present and future tense quietly to yourself, or as if you are reading it from a page. Start to picture three boxes under the water that you have to swim to get to. Once you have found the boxes open them slowly one at a time and narrate to yourself what is happening when you open the box. For example 'As i open the box i feel a radiant light engulf me, i feel it becoming a part of me, this light is my new found confidence that i can not ever lose as it is now apart of me' and then proceed on to the next box. You should avoid using statements with negative connotation such as I don't want to be tired and irritable. Instead, say, am becoming calm and relaxed.Examples of positive statements I am strong and slender, I am successful and positive, and, if you have pain, My back is beginning to feel wonderful.(see warning on PAIN)

h.Repeat your statement(s) to yourself as many times as you wish. 2 or 3 times should be enough.

i.Once you are satisfied with what you have done and embraced swim back to the stairs and feel with each step you take the water becoming lower and lower until you have once again reached that fifth step. Once you are out of the water and are on the sixth step you may start to feel heavy or as if there is a weight on your chest. Merely wait on the step until this passes, constantly repeating your aforementioned statements. Once it passes continue up the stairs visualizing each step by its number, feeling the steps under neath you, will yourself to carry on up the stairs.

j.Once you have ascended, give yourself a few moments before opening your eyes (you may want to visualise yourself opening a door to the outside world, do this slowly and imagine the light that pours in through the door way, this should make your eyes open)(also it sometimes help telling yourself that when you open your eyes you will be smiling, if you are indeed smiling when you open your eyes you will have some sort of proof that it has worked) and take your time getting up. Then out loud tell yourself Wide awake, Wide awake or something maybe that your mother used to say when she woke you up in the morning as a child. This will put your mind back in the conscious state.You will be totaly relaxed and feel refreshed.


Now, something to help increase your memory :: 
Steps:

a.Relax. When you are ready, gently close your eyes. Take three deep breaths and say to yourself the word 'relax' on each held breath. Now, notice how enjoyably relaxing this feels. Continue doing this for a little while. Notice how each breath helps you feel deeper and deeper relaxed.

b.Relieve any tension. Allow any tension in your jaw to relax away. Allow any tension in your neck and in your shoulders to simply melt away, leaving you completely relaxed.

c.Imagine a large library. You might imagine you stood outside a large magnificent library. Notice how the building looks. Visualize the large wooden doors inviting you to go in. This library is the library of your mind. Everything you have ever known or experienced is in this library. Just like your mind, everything you have known or experienced is in there. Whenever you can't remember something the memory is still there, but it's just difficult to find it among the vast, vast arrays of information.

d.Begin to study the books in the library. If you are studying or have a particular topic of interest or quickly locate the book that contains all your knowledge on this subject, you may have a quick look through the pages if you wish. Feel safe in the knowledge that whenever you absorb any information on this topic it will be added to this book. You will easily be able to find the information in your mind. You will easily be able to recall the information. Now, place this book back exactly where you found it. If you are not sure, a librarian will help you. Take a look around at the other books. Again, any of the information related to these books will be added to them whenever you learn or experience something.

e.Recall old memories. As a result of your mind being more organized, not only will you be able to recall memories much more easily, your mind will also feel calmer and more relaxed. You will find that just about anything you do will be simpler and easier. You'll feel happier. Your mind is more organized and relaxed, and you will be more successful with an organized and more relaxed mind.


P.S. :: This is an application from my iPod. I felt like sharing it with you people. The application and the pictures can be found at : http://www.feathermoor.com.


People and their Stories !!!


From my childhood, the stories have always been fascinating. Stories, which my grandmother used to tell, I used to listen without sleeping, In between, she used to check whether I had fallen asleep. But I never slept until she finished it. If she did finish, I would ask for another story. Bed time stories have always been very fascinating. I used to enjoy all the stories, though some were repeated many times, but as my young mind could generate the stories visually differently every time I learnt a new story.

Time passes by and the bed-time stories began to decease. I was growing up. So now, I was capable of sleeping with out the stories. But for the stories, there was never an end. When I look back in my past, all seems so new to me, and I keep wondering ,was that me that I did that, this!? There were many such instances when I myself cannot believe doing. Drastically, the stories changed. From the fascinating English text-book stories to the novels and much more. I experienced all new variety and varsity in the stories which I leant newly. As time passed by, as it sure does, the stories were different. Nothing like I used to read in the story books or the novels. These were the life stories. Some were absolutely genuine and heart-touching. Really heart touching, some made me cry, some made me feel sad and some were woven out of thin air. Now that was something to laugh about. Well, relating to the stories which I heard during my schooling. As far I know one was really really true and heart-touching. So here are two of the stories which I remember with distinction. 

Way back some seven years or so, we had a new social teacher with discipline ‘Geography’. Well, I was not that much good at geography and what happened more was that she was our class teacher. I think it was the ninth standard. I guess it was. When ever she had a free time, she used to tell about her childhood and what happened back there. Well, I am not mentioning her name. I would address her as the geography teacher, as for what she teaches. So once in a while she tells us about her childhood. So our dear ma’am never liked geography as a subject during her childhood. And she was never interested in hearing the classes also. So, once in a while, she was caught up by her lecturer as she was having a small nap in his class. He angrily called her to the front of class and she realized that she to point a landmark on the map. And she placed the landmark quite opposite to the place it must be and for that she got a nice little scolding and as she says she hated geography much more. But for the present, she was teaching ‘Geography’ and I hated it too. So, does that mean, I will also be a geography teacher. “Hell no”. Now, wait, there is much more about this ma’am. Check this out. She was an expert gemologist also, as she says. And she was the topper in her batch and had studied all sorts of gems and their characteristics and so so things. And once during and art sale where the jewels were being sold, she was a sort of entrepreneur selling the jewels to the visitors and the customers. And with her expertise in the gems and adding to the beauty of her description about the gems which were there, people thronged to buy them and she got a higher pay for selling the most jewels that day. Even then, she left the job and started teaching a subject which she hated the most. Hmm... Can I count this to be a true story? Can you? Like wise were some of the stories about the teachers, who used to tell that they are teaching the subject which they hated the most. They call it ‘destiny’ or ‘fate’. Well, I too call it so. But sometimes destiny takes a turn and fate leads to unexpected results. I was much more concerned about another teacher of mine. 

She was our English teacher, in the same ninth standard. She was P.B.  We used to like the subject, but hated the role play and everybody hesitated to do it. So once in a while she was tires of shouting and told her story. She loved English and she loved teaching. Not to mention, she was awesome in her teaching and her skills in vocabulary were unmatched. No one else could do it. I would bet. And she was beautiful, much more beautiful than the rest of the crew that used the teaching stuff to us, the students. And we as students adorned her of her beauty and knowledge she with-hold. Every thing was beautiful and perfect. But she had a problem. I am not mentioning the problem, as I don’t want to make it complicated. But can mention this that her problem compelled her not to shout and she should avoid much stress on the esophagus, the breath canal. This caused her some minor problems as the intake of air; I mean the oxygen supply decreased and sometimes get choked. As she told this, we held our breath. We had never heard such a sorrowful story from anyone. And she shared it with us and ended with a tear in her eyes and ours too. We didn’t feel like having lunch that afternoon and later in the afternoon, we didn’t feel like enjoying the only games hour of the week. It just touched our heart and that made her much more dearer to us. This was a real story and I was an eye-witness also. She once became unconscious, while we were sitting behind her during one of the free periods. Our hearts throbbed faster. We immediately called other teachers as we were in a complete shock state. Well, that was it. I still can’t forget her face and the moments she spent with us. May god bless her and let her have a happy life.

Moving on. Now that I have succeeded in making you feel something. Let me give you the present scenario and why actually I thought of writing this post. So, these are the stories of the people around me.

I finished my schooling and ended up at college. The atmosphere is quite different and not like the good old days. I get so much tired of answering the questions by which I am constantly asked upon. Actually that not quite easy to take when they don’t believe anything I say. Now picture this: Exams are almost near, say a month left for the battle to begin. And to our amazement, we get three days holiday. Wow!? That was unexpected and I would try to implement my plans which I had been planning since some time. I go to a movie, write some posts in my blog and read some blogs and add a comment. Time flies and the college begin again. I look back and say “Oh gosh, I wasted all my holidays, I could have studied something”. But I anticipate some questions from my friends as “What did you do these days?” I try to weave some sort of a story and plan to tell them when asked upon. They ask the question which I most expected, because that was a routine of their asking. Even if we have a half-day break, they want to know what actually I did. As if, they are much more concerned about me. “Oh god, leave me alone”. They care. !? That is far, even to think. They are much more worried about me with respect to studies. They think I might have studied. But to their happiness, I never do and they don’t believe it. So they ask me the much anticipated question,” Hey, what did you do these holidays?”. Though I had the script ready in my hand, I don’t know what happens, I tell the series of events that really happened and finally they don’t believe them. I can’t help them or make them to understand that it was what actually had happened. And to keep up the conversation, I ask them back. They weave it so perfectly that it becomes hard to find that they are actually telling a lie. Now if they tell that they did study, now I will be fires up and I will also start such stunts. And they actually don’t want that to happen. So they cleverly make up the story from the thin air and present it to me. Rather, I being an idiot believe it. Sometimes, I don’t believe it. I know their behavior and the woven story doesn’t match with their personality and character. That’s basic human psychology. I can understand that. They actually do the studying thing, but don’t want others to know that they studied. And they think it’s hard to make out if they don’t tell the truth. These are some stupid behavior of some of the people around me. You know what they even make the lie a truth by updating all their Facebook and Twitter status. Hell, please stop it. Nobody actually cares  to know what you did with the studies thing and what was so difficult to learn and what made to pull your hair and what made you sick of learning and what made you mad about the subject and what made you to neglect your studies and spend the time wasting in non-commercial purposes. I just want you guys to be truthful and don’t lie about yourself. It shucks, you know. Please avoid it and I suggest you guys to be frank, even if it makes hard to share. 

P.S. :: I have done so much editing to this post and keeping in mind the people, I have deleted so many facts, which I think might have bored you much more. Though, the purpose of "Why?" I wrote this post didn't meet its purpose, as I failed in expressing the true sense which I had thought of. Well, anyways I think I might have given you a picture of reality. Please, bear with my innocence and respond with your comments.

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Bangalore, Karnataka, India
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