Confused.

There is this thought, a brilliant one but I keep forgetting. There is this song which says my emotions, but I keep forgetting. There is this girl I saw the other day, I just forgot her too. There is this brilliant idea which could make a difference, wait... what was it ? Please tell me you didn't forget. 

I froze beneath the morning stars to unknown misery, drank into the unforeseen world where I try to find the answers to the unanswered. It keeps me awry. A little lost as well. The time drift apart and makes me realize with each passing second - What the hell are you doing with your life? I keep thinking about it, until I realize - Oh, snap. I will deal with it tomorrow. Let this day go and tomorrow I will make some life shattering plans. The day passes by before I even realize that a day has passed. Words evade me as thoughts fly over my crazy brain eloping from each situation and circumstance which shows a way to the near destiny which seems so near yet so far. What is this? I ask myself trying to relinquish from the depths of my darkest thoughts. I just added one more question to the innumerable unanswered questions which haunt me every passing moment.  

My conscious laughs at my instability and mocks me around. I just try to keep pace with it and agree to the truth behind its mocking. Well, its the truth, what else can I do? Change it, may be. Mold it into your way, may be. Work hard, may be. The 'may be' just stays as another may be and the pile of to-do list just keeps piling up. I try to reason with myself and the evading time to stop for once and explain what is going on. It just simply laughs and says - Its' your job to find out, not mine. 

I am at loss of words and I don't know what to do either. I feel like I am in a vast desert and am in search of something important may be like water. But thoughts vary and don't sync with me and lead me to the illusions of oasis as a mirage. The better part left for me do is to leave the mortal soul and disperse into some entirely different world. But how? The latent heat of the desert doesn't kill me nor does the thirst for water. And if it so, may be a bullet can speak up to my mind. Aha, a bullet from a gun. That would be nice. Only that, if I had a gun, I would have. 

Am I just a face hiding beneath the skin of mortal flesh or am I different altogether. Am I someone wearing the mask to hide myself, the true identity? Or Am I not what I think I am or say what I am? Am I some imposter in disguise of something real? I have no idea. May be I just take out that pistol and shoot, may be all the people or just me. Well, I am in dilemma whether it is me who is in disguise or all the people. I think I am confused. 

______________________________________________________________________

Don't sweat it. No need come here and offer me a gun. I will do it myself. So, it makes no sense. I just figured it out just now because as I was writing, I had no idea what I was writing or why or on what or why .. wait I said said it again. So, yeah, I have no idea what I just wrote.

And I added something in my blog which you can find at the top of this page. So, how is it? Coin in your feedbacks.