Sunday, April 29, 2012

College-Aftermath.

I don't feel it. I don't feel the turbulence, I don't feel the anxiety, I don't feel anything. I don't feel satisfied. I don't feel completed. I don't feel sad. I don't feel happy. I feel nothing. What might be the reason? I asked myself. I didn't feel the answer as well. Well, literally I can say that I am done with my Engineering. But still I am done with it,right? Why don't I feel anything?  The Facebook status of my friends were just beyond my idea of what I should be feeling. Some are missing the others while some are tagging the BTECH  word at the end of their name. What should I be doing?  No . No. Don't look at me and serve the question back to me. No. I was thinking I should also do it. Whatsay? Ajay Kontham,X,XII,B-Tech. So far so. So what do you think? Don't tell me it sounds lame. It does?  I don't think so. Even if it does, just go with it because it is true to the fact and probably I may print my visiting cards like this only. And any additions will be added if at all I get a little lucky just like you, yeah! like you. 

So, my Engineering is over. I wanted to post a Kick-ass Post and also wanted to create a meme. Well, I am not good at meme's nor at writing a kickass post.I was just thinking. So now the question : How was my BTech Engineering Life? (Something like Self-Interview) so that I can reference it from the future when need be. By the way I wanted to tell another thing. Out of a class of 66, hmm...err... say about 1 or 0 people would remember me a decade from now, or as a matter of fact 2 years from now! I can surely bet on the decade part, but the 2 years part is little bit difficult because these guys have amazing memory power. Then what about a decade from now? No, I am not saying that their memory would deteriorate or something. Its just that they would choose not to remember. Yes! I am not a popular guy. And also, I will write about each and every guy I can remember. My friends don't know but I have a very bad memory power. I bet they would disagree with that, but 'fact' is a 'fact', right? 

So, coming to the question about the four years of explicit engineering. Let me start with the experience and the extent of knowledge I might have engulfed. I think its' a lot. And also that's a lot to take in! My dad would have studied the half of what I had studied in the whole 4 years. But still when he says "You are saying as if we didn't study Engineering" , It just pisses me off. That was well over 15 years, somewhere near 20 years may be and still compares with the present. Not good. Wait a minute, I got off the line. 


Now coming back.. My friends got a little sentimental. Some did give a speech about it in the Get-Together party. He was getting all emotional and all, and I was dumbstruck. I had a camera in my hand and I had no idea what to do when he was getting all emotional. And some of the other people also in my hostel haven't revealed it, but they are all senti from inside. Seriously, I don't feel a thing. Must be something is seriously wrong with me, right?  I second your thoughts. Well, whatever, my Engineering Life ended at the blink of an eye. Seriously! There were days when I thought when this day would come. And now I feel like it was just yesterday that I joined the Engineering and now I am leaving it. Most probably, what I am gonna miss is the BEACH. No other place has a serene beauty as this. Well, so far I haven't been to any other beaches. So, yeah! This is the best so far!

The post ended at the earlier para. This is an extension. I am writing this because, I didn't get a topic for my post. So, i googled "Person with no feelings is called?" and the results showed 'Sociopath', 'Heartless', 'Insensitive', 'Cold-Hearted' ,etc ! And now I am wondering....

Friday, April 27, 2012

'S-c-r-e-w-e-d'!

Note: The continuation of the teaser. Well, not a interesting one though.

Last week when I sunk back into my chair after the semester end exams were but still the laboratory and other things were left, I was waiting for this very moment. I just wanted this week to be over as fast as possible and hoped it to be a good end. If you remember or not, I mentioned myself as a superstitious person and indeed I am. So, my fate was such that my bad luck was too bad enough. 

Last week after the semester end exams I get my things to get the Project done and complete the report asap. I do complete it, somehow. Later this last Sunday, I manage to prepare a presentation as well. I was wondering what my project batch mates would be doing! That would be a rhetorical question. Anyways, moving ahead. My mind was messed up real bad by then. And also to add to my mental tension accumulated with mental pressure, some one lost my pen drive as well. So, lets say I was dealing with not-a-good-time kind of situation. I was like I did all the work and lets see whats' gonna happen. So, the two things which was really sick or from the beginning just happened to be more sickening of all.

Before I say anything, ROLL NO. 1 is not at all good. Seriously! NOT AT ALL. The four years of my Engineering Life I had to deal with the elements of the surprise(s) all the time. If there was a Viva-voce and I would be the first to be sacrificed. I clearly don't have any idea about what topics they might ask, on what they would stress more. I would be just helpful for the people following me as they can prepare themselves for the tangibility of the situation and act accordingly. I have no such choice. So the previous day, we had a comprehensive viva-voce where they were supposed to ask us about what we did in the whole Engineering Life and the questions about what we studied. We were allotted a Sir and I was quite sure that he would be asking us. But like I said My bad Luck was supposed to be the worst. There was another professor who was fond of killing(technically) students by his questions. And when I heard that he was the person who would be asking a certain part of the students the questions for comprehensive viva, I was a living-dead person. I froze within myself by looking/imagining the situation and got hyped up to the extremes. I was the bait-rat here. I was tested here. I was experimented. I was the bloody effing Roll No.1 . So the moment which I never waited to come finally came. I was totally screwed up. He asked and kept asking when I mentioned him my aggregate. I was a little high than my standard and so he kept the playing of one-sided-questionare while I looked blankly at him and din't even knew where to look. So, yeah, effing Screwed Up.


So, I get back over a messed up head and think about the next day. The coming day won't be promising at all, I say to myself. No. I am not an optimist. A pessimist to the core. And when situations like these favor my pessimism, its' not at all good. Nevertheless, I thought of showing the best in whatever situation it might be. I prepare not so good, but good enough to cover my ass. My batch mates were on the same page with me. The difference was I did the whole project and I made the presentation as well, but those guys seemed to know more than me. Well, lets just say they have more tactical approach than me and they prepared really very well when compared to me. So the moment comes when we just get in between and grab a place and start our presentation when the other faculty who was invigilating throws a comment on out project. Saying that this was nothing and they just copied it from the textbook. And also it contains more pages of result than the actual content. The reason for he saying all this is that he is my internal project guide. So when we were showing him the project for the last time he made the same comment. And this very person didn't even let us finish the presentation, wait a minute, didn't even start the presentation. The fastest to complete at the Project Review was ours and ours only. And after it was over, we called our project sir (incharge/guide) and we complained about what happened. He told us not to worry, but still my mind is a unstable freaking substance. So, I can't help but repent. And also my batch mates are totally awesome. What would the small courtesy of Thanks have done to them? I can't tell them anymore. And also they don't care me anymore for they are done with me as well as Engineering. 

After all this, and the total mess my mind still thinks about movies. So I went to this freakingly awesome movie.
So far the best movie this year as far as I can remember this years movie list which I saw. 

P.S. Bored? at my screw-up.?  Should have warned you in the beginning.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

A Teaser.




A teaser. I am going to write about it, but now is not a good time or lets just say I am in no good mood. Reasons seen very small but still thats' how I feel right now.
SCREWED !

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

'Little'.

Note : This is not a poetry of any of that kind. No! I would rather call it 'Worambling' (word-rambling or lets say rambling with words).



Little did I speak, Little was I heard.
For Silence kept my company along.

Little did I see, Little was I seen.
For Darkness weaved a cocoon around.

 Little did I feel, Little was I felt.
For in despair the heart broke.


Little did I teach, Little was I taught.
For knowledge never ended in its part.

Little did I love, Little was I Loved,
For the heart played a game of Trickery. 


Little did I lose, Little was I lost.
For I walked the path of deception.


Little did I appreciate, Little was I appreciated.
For I was taken for Granted.


Little did I know, Little was I Known.
For my friend was myself alone.



- Ajay Kontham [2012]
P.S. :  By the way, I am no good at poetry or even this, I confess.(Wait a minute, you already know?) 

Monday, April 23, 2012

Time-Game.

Note : Skip down to the earlier post or wait for some time for another post. No! Not this. Another PP (Personal Post) and probably you won't gain anything but a waste of your time. 

A week more. I have been saying this for the past few days. Why ? Because then I don't have to worry by then, or so I think as of now. And then as I updated my status on Fb that I would be unleashing the wilderness of me, I shall 
definitely do that. But for now, I am worried sick. First reason My Project ! and the second reason the remaining lab exam. Though my friends would tell that there is nothing to worry and also might laugh as well. I actually don't post things like these probably lets' say I am superstitious, (Oh! Ya, I am). But my mind is kind of exploding in itself over and over again. The pas week wasn't good at all. Firstly someone loses my thing and don't even tell until I ask them to return. And boom! they lost it. May be its' easy for them to deal with such things. But not me! I am totally different and in most cases people won't have a clue about me. And I was like Banging my head over the wall, the table and everything that was in front of me. And the person who lost is a real serious genius about whom I will get back to you in my future posts. Oh! I sure have to mention the smartness and my bloody dumbness ! 


Time Game
A part of the project report was over by yesterday. But there were many too many mistakes which I realize obviously after I get back. So, I say to myself, *Beep* it, " Whatever is done, that's done and its final". Another part is left. I sure said one of my batch mate to do that part of the work. And I say that was pretty awesome. I had to do it all over again. Last night I started and calmed myself that its' not a big deal of a thing and I can complete it within an hour or so. Time was just past 12 last night. For Next one hour, I try to understand what was in the presentation that my batch mate made. I draw the conclusion on what needs to be changed which I came to know as the whole thing. So quirky did I get and along with me was Facebook. I try to ease my mind in the middle with it, still it didn't help, though. I got sleepy and haven't started what I intended to do. So, next thing I know I got a wake up call from my mom at around 7 in the morning. But still, I don't wake up. Next thing I know, its 9. So the time limit was set to 12 in the afternoon. I jolly-ed around for sometime with facebook, iPod(uploading photos) and looking at the wall unknowingly thinking about *void*(nothing). Well, I slowly started making the presentation. Time went past 12. "That was fast". Next time-limit was set to 3 ! I thought 3 hours. That would be more than enough. I start after lunch, gets pissed off, take a break, again get back to the work. And poof! , time was half past four ( my snack time) ! That was fast-fast (bullet-fast)! So, I set the next time limit to 6 ! I was pretty sure and determined to complete it by 6 ! But my determination was taken down and I lazily doze off trying to complete by 6. But no! My work never ends. Now, I was about to fix my time limit to 9, but then again I dropped it saying to myself that "It isn't helping me at all". I finally get to something near the completion and thats' it. "I can't do anything more !". That was a weird time game where I seldom changed the rules for my sake and still lost. And time was playing unfair as well. Its' not at all fair when seconds behave like minutes and minutes like hours.

 And now its half past twelve and I have to prepare/study for what I had done since last night for the presentation which is due tomorrow! I am pretty much out of order right now and my mind probably can't take anything. Thats' why I am posting this so that I can get over it and start the preparation. But now I feel sleepy! What happened to my Insomniac ability of mine ? 

P.S. : No, No. You didn't ! You did ? But why? I already warned in the beginning itself. Well, whatever! Sry for your time as I am for mine. Next Post then. :D

Friday, April 20, 2012

It is what it is, Life !


Note : A post which I started writing long back now completing it. Don't know what I intended to explain. Here it is. A post from the drafts. And the post-title, I know its no justification to this post. So, at your own risk, go ahead...

Where do I live? What is happening around me? The life is uncertain and is bound to changes, some are real serious changes and alterations. But life is not something which we can leave it on its own to ripe, grow old and die. We are the caretakers of our life. How we design decides how we live. Struggle, Hard work and so affiliated terms decide the charm-ness in the lives. Do we stop when we think we can't do a thing? We would rather take up a much easier job than running naked, drinking and restlessly sleeping. It is never easy, nor difficult. But, we keep up, while some give up. 
What's your life's worth, if I many ask, What would you reply?  

We  live at the expense of ourselves and burden ourselves with the lost love. Is life just about making money? or Studies? or Just Love? or Both? or Something else? Frankly, I have no idea about it. Its like looking at a ripe mango, until we find that its actually not when we start eating it. Its' rather a small blend in the looks appealing it as ripe. We get distressed and dejected. We have been played. Life as it sounds is short, yet a sweet memorable experience.  It depends on us and us alone. Isn't it? But sometimes, It sure does depends on others and their actions. What do we gain if we are depended on others. The fruit of their hard wok, the fruit of their sweat. Don't get me wrong, but its' very unpleasant. So, I think. But then again we are not alone in this world, are we? We need to depend on others at some point of time or the other. But it again depends. 

This very morning I had a conversation with a friend of mine. He was trying to inspire me. Oh, he did exactly well. I even told him that he should write an Inspirational Book. Friends like this guy are rare. I repeat They are rare. So he tells me, "What is world but a stage to show what you are. If you don't step on the stage you don't have a world. Your world ended even before it started. But you are still hanging to it by a rope. If you want you can pull yourself up or let go.. thats' your calling. It's in your hands to decide".  I was awestruck for a moment. He just did that! I was like in a deliberate silence while my mind thought about each word. But I replied to him as if I didn't care. So, I was saying LIFE is a blissful game of mystery. You never know what you will find at the edge of the road unless you leap, unless you take a step forward, unless you want to. 

There are people successful and people who have failed. We hear about successful people all the time. Take Bill Gates for instance, a college drop out once, now a Billionaire. A second richest man in the World. Steve jobs, Mark Zukerberg and (wait a minute, you all know these people.. So I am skipping that part). What is so different in them ? A small dream, a small step, a small initiation, a little innovation and lot of hard work. Like a tiny little spark can bun down the whole forest, just a tiny little idea would do wonders. 

A sweeter part of life it is, isn't it? What we don't see is that there are more failures than success. But who cares about the failures, when people can relate to the success of  richest, most intellectual person. The difference between failure and success is getting up. Who on this God's Green Earth hasn't failed, hasn't experienced failure? You didn't? Well, I don't know what to say to those people. They would be called Gods. For god is perfect, right ? Now, don't look at me and dart the question back to me. I don't know about that. I have always wondered why there is bad when there could be good. Didn't god create this world? Some say to maintain the balance. The needle should be at the middle, right ! Why is there two sides of a balance? Why not only one? Well, I rest my discussion there for I may lose arguing on the same. 

Yes, I was saying.. (saying what?)...'I have no idea' . hmm.. er..  Life, right ? Yeah, I remember a small video which I recently saw where Shah Rukh Khan was addressing the Yale University Students. 
Well, you can find loads of inspirational speeches over the internet. All that you need to do is Google it. So, SRK was saying the same thing which my dear friend told me. Life is like balancing on a rope and be like a funambulist. Need I say anything about the video which I assume you already watched? Moving on... .... .... .... ! C'mon, Move On.
So, I end this here. I don't see any point writing any further. If you are thinking I was writing some inspirational post, well I am sorry. I wasn't. 

P.S. : DONE ? You read the whole post? I would really appreciate your effort! Was it worth it? I mean worth your time? 

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Should I Change ?

Disclaimer : A Personal Post. I say, Skip it. Also skip the words which are struck like this, just in case you come by them.

The time is 3'o clock and I am still up. Well, if you don't know about me, I am an Insomniac. And I also have a reason today for being up which will be mentioned in the later pat of this post. Unless there is an exam tomorrow, I never sleep, well most of the times. But when there is an exam the very next day, I get dizzy and my eyes start closing without any effort an hour before the strike of twelve. The next thing I know its' 8 in the morning. I say, 'm s-c-r-e-w-e-d. But today is like any other day but a little different. The phase I of examinations are over. Phase II is remaining and that takes place a week from now. Then I am completely done with exams and my Engineering as well. 

The previous day during my usual meeting with my friends at the hostel canteen for snacks after the end of the exam, a friend of mine commented on the next days' exam (todays' exam) that "Tomorrow will be the end of writing stories in the exam paper". I replied back," When did you ever do that?". I hope you get my reply. NO? Okay. For the seventh and eighth graders, it means that he never writes stories in his exam paper. He studies well and writes to the point.

So my exam was as usual in the afternoon and got over within two hours time. But I stayed for another 45 minutes doing nothing but looking out of the window. Everything was going well. I even had a very nice dinner outside. I came back to my room. So I ask my classmate to whom I had lent my 16 freaking GB Pen Drive which had photos of the recent get-together and the last working day of my college. I didn't tell about those events in my blog, right? I shall do it asap.  So, I get a reply that it was lost. I was like "wth" and "wtf" at the same time. And I just happened to open the Dairy Milk Cabdury and just started eating it when I choked on seeing the reply. Thats' not funny at all! Really not at all funny. That pen drive had the updated project report and also the awesome tag which I had been saving for years. The person also claimed to get me a new one. And also says that it wasn't her fault. I am shocked when that message popped up in the google chat. WHAT!? Not your fault ? A week more and I thought I would have nothing to do with any of my classmates except a few. Not this situation pops up. I don't know what to reply. Well, thats' what happens when people take you for granted. Seriously! This isn't the first time something like this has happened with the same person. I now know that the problem is not the person. The problem is Me and Just ME. I don't get these people at all. I try to be NICE and just NICE and this is the reward for being Nice. Well, I don't whether people change or not, I will try to. Because it is Me at the end of the Road and Just Me who would have to deal with the loss. "I like my things dearly" because they are my freaking things and I shall love it till the end for they are entirely mine. And when I lend it to some one that means that I gave a thing which I consider dearly just because they also need it for the time being. And also 'I consider other's person much more dearly' not because I like them or want them. It is just that I understand that they like their things the same way I do. So, I need to be careful and extra cautious when it comes to other's things. Why don't people understand this? 

"You know you are screwed , when you are SCREWED"!

I don't know what exactly I need to say to them. Don't they know that? Seriously, don't they ? So, Should I need to change? And stop lending things and helping others because it hurts me more than it helps others ?

And if you don't know, I can be a critic regarding the people as well and I write about them what I feel. I used to do it by keeping the names anonymously but when I get frustrated about them, I get really insane. People would also sue me, someday! But the bottom line is that I speak what I know. And I wanted to leave this habit of mine. I say, Its' not good or kind. It is just cursing and cursing all over again. And I need to stop that. But, this incident makes me ponder over my decision! So, I decide that I shall write and I shall keep them anonymously and if they know its about them they know else they don't. 

Were you asking me,"Why I am awake at this hour of the night?" . This just happens to be another reason (read excuse) for today. By the way, the time is quarter to four in the morning. 

Thursday, April 12, 2012

The Art of Getting By.

The Art of Getting By. Well, Firstly its' an awesome movie. One of my new favorites. Don't worry, this post isn't about the movie. Thank God, right ? I could be the worst critic ever. Whatever! Moving on..


Life as we see, is a progressive development. We dream, make them come true and move on, live with the past and make some new marks in our life. And also Live in that. "But is it that easy?" ,I ask. Don't ask me back. I would say No, it isn't! What do you think? So, If everything were at the reach of our hands who would have thought of a difficult world. I sometimes wonder why did God ever create humans ? In his own form ? Giving him the superior post on the face of the earth. Literally, Man (here, I am referring MAN as All Human Beings) is the ruler, isn't he? Does my idle brain stop with that question? No! It searches for answers but all that it gets is more questions. Questions which remain as questions-un-answered. Why is there two sides of a coin ? Now please don't get into being literal. Of Course I know its an flat object and obviously it would have two sides. Yeah, I know that ! I am referring it as a metaphor. People often say there is Good and Bad just like the coin has two sides. The Good part is okay. I can live with that. But Why BAD? I ask. If god was the creator of all things, so does this count in that list? No, I am not being an atheist. I believe in God. I believe in what's happening. I just don't believe in Bad. Seriously, where did this 'bad' come from? When god had the time to create a man and write his whole life before he was even born, why did he just include the evil part in it? And again NO, I am not saying that all the people that are here are evil or bad. I am referring to those who aren't good and only those. Your Response : "God created Man and left him to make his own living " and "He had no idea that Adam & Eve would eat the forbidden fruit"! . Now again why ? Why did he create a fruit which contained knowledge? If he had the power to handle one's life then why didn't he stop them at that time. Please don't tell me Satan provoked them. Didn't God knew about the evil Satan in the first place? Why did he even create a soul. By the way Soul!, is this thing for real? I don't know Man. I don't know ! Oh! WAaaaiiiiT ! I am off topic. That happens a lot. Sorry! Close this tab and check your Facebook. Scroll down and scroll up, Like, Comment. Close it and take a drink, do something purposeful and off you go to sleep o study or whatever that is you do.

The Lie
I have moved a lot of places. I have seen people climbing up, falling down the small yet large road of life. They get up, never the less. They surely do. Its' in the path when some one come to you asking for help. In this case me. People see me as silent geek witting my way around calmly . Some like, some hate and some don't care. I am not bothered about the "don't care" people, because they don't really care and also they don't give a ____ about me! So I get by these people pretty easy. Because I've the same attitude. And some of those who hate are like trying to get me down. Dear Brother, You don't know yet but I have been below the whole time. It is just that you didn't realize that yet. So there is this one guy who seemed to have had my attention after the end of the first year of Engineering. Wait? I thought "How come he is after me?" . I don't know and didn't wanted to know. Time flew by and another semester passed. The whole year he used to stick around me I don't know why (Oh! I do know. I just don't want to tell). The third year as well. But something changed and I knew exactly what. But I was still the same person. But I planned to lie to him and the likes of his kind. So I plan. But when the moment comes, I don't know from where does the truth pop out. I am a good liar, you know? A very good one indeed. I helped escape myself from various situations a lot of times. But now I am no good with lies. Small little white lies are becoming difficult to tell and even if I tell I am messing it. Like I said earlier, Life is a progressive development, everybody needs help from others and it is like a pre-defined rule. But sometimes the help is undermined and thrown away. They helper is generous while 'the helped' takes advantage of the generosity. So, there it is where I need the lies to help me out. It is not that I like helping out people and mostly my fiends or acquaintances, its more like I said the help is taken for granted. How does that make anyone feel? Well, you say ? 


The Hardest Part
What could be the hardest part? For me its just saying 'NO' . Like I said, I like to help. It does gives a good feeling. But then again the world is just as it is. Some just need somebody else's help when they can't get something done themselves or want something. So, I being the less-talker and the inability to say No provokes people to ask me. When they do, If I don't want to give or help, I just can't say NO. Never knew why. I am bound by the situation and a mediocre part of my mind thinks inside itself that I say No then this person would feel bad. As I said earlier, I am glad to help. But that gladness turns into testing my sanity when it is asked over and over again. I have had a lot of such experiences. And the thing is that friends have an upper hand over this. As a friend I am supposed to. Thats' with the guys. Now coming to the opposite sex. Damn them! Seriously, I mean it. I never knew that they can be tricky. It is then you realize that you have been played. It starts with a nice-sweet talk and ends the same. Until when they get what they need. Then you are forgotten. And thats' not over yet. It again starts. And we feel elated that "Yay", I'm not forgotten, until they end up happy and we sad. I do realize that It was one nasty game and I've been badly tricked but then again I repeat the same mistake. And the reason the inability to say no. Though I am perfecting the word No these couple of days as I've changed my way of thinking to the indefinite bad. "Being GOOD is no Good, I say" Seriously, I mean it. Wait! "Being GOOD is Good for others Not to you or precisely ME". A conclusion drawn from my experiences. A good one though. But I still need perfection in that.


The Mighty
A month earlier we had an exam for a certification program. The invigilation was little less vigil. So, we decided to help each other out. We talked to each other about the places as to where we would be sitting and helping each other out. So I grab a seat when my friend comes and starts stealing the seat forcefully. He literally was snatching the plastic chair in which I was about to sit. I too fought back but he was like crazy; crazily hopping the chair trying to snatch it from me. I let it go. And that moment I thought "I call this person my friend"! I thought about what to do about this guy. This is the same guy whom I mentioned in the 'The Lie'. So, he gives me uncountable chances to deny his every request and I still can't say Bloody NO. Yeah, I know the problem is with me. Wish I were a little more BOLD and Mighty. And there are a specific group of people though they don't hang out in groups. My minds differentiates them from the rest automatically. These are the book-worms, though they never admit the fact and always get back at me. But thats' the truth that they study more and have more knowledge than me. And obviously best IQ. So, when these mighty brainy warriors need a thing, Its' a pleasure helping. 


So, all the people that I know always get by and I stay there stranded. And when I realize that I am the only person standing at the crossroads, it is rather too late to implement anything. I may never learn that art, for I am possessed with the art of 'inability to say no' on which I am still working to regain my senses before it gets worse and I fall into deep trouble. So, its an art, don't you think?


The Art of Getting By.
Ajay Kontham(2012)


P.S. : If you are wondering about why I wrote the second paragraph about god and stuff. I started the line relating to the topic but then again I got deviated to another because I wanted to write about it. I do agree with you it has no relevance to the topic.
P.S.S. : This is not about offending someone or pointing out anyone. This is how I feel about my inability when darted with a situation. 

Monday, April 9, 2012

An Award Give-away.


Well well. Here come's the 200th Post. So, I will be hosting an Awesome Blogger Award give away to some or the deserving people who I happen to be following. There are a lot of people when they are compared to me. Well, truly I am nothing. And also selecting the people is pretty difficult because each one exceeds the another and the cycle continues. 


So, I am happy to start a new blog award for the blogs I follow and dedicate it to the writers. So here are the steps that are to be followed :
  • Thank and link back to the Person who awarded this Award.
  • Share 7 things about yourself.
  • Award to 15 newly discovered great bloggers.
  • Contact these bloggers and tell them about the Award.
And One more thing. This is a "Pass on Award" and feel free to award to the great bloggers you might have newly found. And the Award : 


Now the Four Duties :
  1. Thank and link back to the Person who awarded this Award ::  Well, I made an attempt to create the award. After several tries, I ended up with this. Hell of a Photoshop Work. I know its a bit cranky, hmm..er.. may be a little too much, I agree. Please bear with me. Thanks. 
2. Share 7 things about yourself : 

  • Well, I am Ajay and luckily don't have any nick names; none at home nor in college. :D
  • I am passionate about Photography and writing as well, but I know I kinda suck. But Photography is like another part of me. I really enjoy it.
  • I can be called Insomniac. I usually sleep less. You can find my room with the light On at any part of the night. If not, then my laptop. If still not, then it is one of the blue moon days when I usually sleep. 
  • I am a movie/serial-addict. Not the regional tv-serials. Heavens' No. They take the life out of me. Mostly English! If I start, it won't end. 
  • I have moved to a lot of places. Well, I can say I like travelling. And also that I have experienced different kinds of people. 
  • I like to be on my own, like alone kind of thing. I also enjoy the company of friends, but I am too much of a thinker which makes it hard. I travel and party alone most of the times. 
  • I am very less talker. Lets' say I am self-absorbed, soft-spoken or even shy. Whatever is convenient. People do ask me a question about this and I still don't answer them.
3. Award to 15 newly discovered great bloggers :: 

So here is the list. It is not like the best to worst. All are equally good bloggers. 
















4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the Award .

It was a hard task, but had to do.

Thanks for your patience.
And Adios. :)

P.S. : Well, I had been trying to post this since long, but work and unable to create the award made it late. And also finally 200 posts completed. :D  And I seriously don't know how to tag people to the posts. Is it just posting about in the comment box or is there any other procedure. :-/ 

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Mind Tricks.


The book was open and I was looking at it. After a while I had to turn the Page. It was then I realized that the page was over and my little dreamy projection in my mind was paused. I shouted holy cr*p! I seemed to have read the whole page which took something like 30 minutes while my mind was playing its own movie, don't know where. Mid-Semester Exams are over my head and I am like this since morning, err correction Afternoon, wait a minute, its' from the Evening. So, even after my patience running out, I start the same page all over again and seriously going through the first few lines, next thing I know that the page is over. i-Frustrated! Thinking that where does my mind wander away and to where in such short span of time. When I wake up from the small dreamy lapse, I tend to forget what I had been dreaming/thinking about for the past few minutes. I keep my books aside thinking that its'(Studying) not gonna happen now. So I log on to Facebook. No notifications. In the morning, when I woke up to Facebook, I saw a red balloon over the notifications which read "135" ! "WTH" ?  Well, the previous day I updated the photos of my Last Working Day at College and hence those notifications. And now no notifications, why ? Because I had been checking the FB every fifteen minutes while these studies are drawn back. Something in my mind says that I can complete within time. I hope, I do. But time's running like there's an Apocalypse. Wrong comparison?  Well, as of now, my mind is playing, I don't know what but its acting strange. Mind Tricks, I say. And oh, yeah I will ost the group photo of my class here. What should I write more? I want to write more, but my mind is dragging away to something called emptiness and hence I may have to stop here. Why did I write this?  The very same reason. Hoping that I grab a grip on my wandering brain and get back to studies and complete for tomorrow's exams. And btw there are two exams tomorrow. Well :-/ :( ! Still nothing in my mind and the topics are also skiing their way down. Now, I have to get back and get some hold of myself and the mysteriously acting mind. So, here's the Group Photo. May be I will write about it or may be not. For now, this is it.



So, now I seriously have to get back to whats' important.

Till then.
Au Revoir.

Night.
Prendre Soin. :)

Monday, April 2, 2012



"If only someone could read my thoughts, the next thing he would be doing is speaking to himself or a wall in a loony bin".

There is a whole lot of wasteland building up in my mind. May be they are called Neurons biologically. I wish I could access my mind like a computer and delete the unnecessary things which keep striking me at the Bull's Eye. Every-time! I could have given a little insight inside my brain, but then you would have to go to the L-bin. 

There's project that I have to do. Some part is over and a part is left. And this part is eating my brains off. My team combined as a whole has to complete the report but I am like a single person doing all the stuff. Another person seems to be helping but not enough. Its' hard to ask, you know. But then again, it should be done. The problem is that they assume that they are giving their A-game, but seriously no. And there are mids coming up. I won't be so worried, but this time I am. I don't know why ! And there is the stress of higher studies. Well I am completely blasted. Photography is at a halt and also there are quite some new rules in the College hostel . I am actually pissed off right now. Today was supposed to be a chicken day. But those morons they cancelled it and made some crappy substitutes to it. Thank God, I told my parents not to eat here at hostel today. Right Decision. Yeah ! :D 

I was about to cross the 200 mark of the posts, but then came along something which made me go back to 197. hmm, don't want to explain that. Stupid and Crazy, it is. I have been busy these couple of days. No NO! Not Studies. You might be thinking of yourself. Not me. I am with busy with downloads and some serials. Oh yeah ADDICTED! Spartacus-The Mentalist-The Big Bang Theory- How I met your Mother-Nikita-Supernatural- Rome - Camelot - Suits - and the list goes on. So, 'Im busy all day 'n night as well. And this hold some three quarters of my insanity inside my brain. That image on the right is a photo with slow shutter speed. : Infinity ! Your Question : What relevance to this post ? NONE. Told ya' , My mind is messed up badly.


About Me

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Bangalore, Karnataka, India
| Writer | Photographer | Split Personality Disorder | Foodie | Music | Art | God-Fearing Atheist | Movies | Golf | Soccer | Dance | Mentally Stable Psychopath |