Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Strange Life.

Author's Note : The following is a 'Worambling' (Rambling with words).

The night woke up in the dark
Surrounded with silence 
Calmness overtook the litle patience
As I drifted from one thought to another

Winds swirled in the air
Somersaulting with the hot currents
The dark became dearer 
While the patience worn out slowly

For life is such
Whispered someone from behind my back
A voice so familiar
For it was none other than mine

While my strength drained
While my thoughts faded
Time was winning in its part
For it is a competition 

Little moments of bliss
Flashed like an old movie
Overwhelmed was I so see such serenity
For my mind never accepted such beauty

I failed to retrospect
When I realized struggle is not my type.
At my helplessness, People laughed
while Arrogance subsided the little hope. 

Defeated , I did feel
For my will was shattered 
Surrounded in darkness
I felt the suction into the black hole

In vain, I tried to escape
Which seemed like a distant dream
Determined I was to get out
Only to realize that I was already lost.

Little hope tried to keep me alive
Pushing me hard to relive
Every passing moment
Slowly belittled my determination

Deep was I in the despair 
For a little ray of light, if at all
Faded midst the torturous dark
While I tried not to lose hope.

- Ajay Kontham

Tuesday, May 29, 2012


Author's Note : A Page from my Diary. I wrote a bit at that time but stopped in the middle because I couldn't write because I felt too weak after the adventure we had that day.

Dated : 17th March, 2012.

Two days ago, a friend notified me that they were going for trekking and he also asked me whether I was interested or not. I was interested and told him the same. Actually, It was on my mind also for quite some time to go for trekking. But it was supposed to be done in the morning. I usually get up late on holidays despite my alarm and snoozes. So, every weekend passes by and my plan gets deffered. But this time, no. Atleast that was what I thought till the evening of 15th when the same friend messaged me that they were postponing the date to the next day which is 17th March. Hmm, I thought that this might as well get cancelled that day. But luckily, it didn't. All I thought was that I could get some really good pictures using my awesome camera. And also a good view from the hill top. It is actually opposite my college. And the whole college would be visible once we are on the top. That was what I actually thought. And also I get to check whether the advertisement about the Woodland shoes does justice or not. Well, you will find out eventually in the end of this post. So, what preparations were needed ? Not much, I was told to bring a back pack for water bottles and from my side was a camera.
The Rising Star| 

So after a series of calls and messages we set out for the little adventure of ours. With me was a Canon DSLR camera and I wore a pair of woodland shoes. I would have gone with the  sports shoe, but remember! I wanted to test it. So we set for it. None of us knew the actual way. But some had an idea. So we walked along the pre determined path. That was a hill which was used by some cell company to set up their tower. So, basically it was the least used. And no one except the people/person who is assigned to look after it goes there. First of all, my trekking doesn't include ropes and all that gear. So, Yeah! Not a real trekking kind of thing which you would assume. All we had to do is climb the hill. Its called trekking only, right? Anyways, we were set on the journey. There should be a small path which indicated that the path is used for climbing up. And this little gateway isn't visible so simply either. I mean its not a big opening with a sign board outside indicating that "You have to stat here to climb this hill". We were searching for the little pathway. While we were searching we almost reached the other side of the hill which is a beach. Though, it was a pleasant morning and the beach looked as always but he had plans. The road which we traveled sported many cars which was odd. And also there were many buses and trucks. We all thought that people came to see the beach. But later we found out that there was a movie shooting. Some of the guys were interested in watching the movie and get the glimpse of the actress, while others were interested in climbing the hill first and thought of coming back after the little expedition. We head back the way we came because when we inquired about it the people who had gone there before said that we had crossed the little pathway. 

We thought we finally spotted it. But when we stated headed into the bushes we were at dead end at the beginning itself. Those were some pretty wild bushes too close to each other and also had thorns. Though we thought of making out the way but we weren't so properly dressed to resist those plants. We look for another way. Finally we did find it. It was very near to where we had started but we thought that that wasn't the exact way. So, we were on our way up the hill. That was the first time ever and we over estimated our energy and ability. We stopped in between for like 5 times and that wasn't the biggest mountain either. We trekked a bit sat for longer periods. Finally we made it to the top though. I was like "I may fall any moment, blackout may be.", I did get some tiny moments of blacking out. But I wasn't the easy type and just let myself fall down at the top of the hill. I got busy with my camera and clicking randomly at the insane plants and sky which was as clear as white with no clouds. I tried to capture my college from the top. Though I could get the complete view but there was obstacles like the overgrown plants obstructing the path for the whole picture. So, the whole image of the College was left behind. I click my friends and well the sun was shinning bright and any direct contact would make be blind perhaps. So, no such attempt was made. We sat down and enjoy the morning sun and the view of the other buildings looking so tiny. We could also see the sea and the beach which was pretty awesome, indeed. While the sun was burning hot, we were getting dehydrated as well and our water bottle pack was almost over. I didn't drink much so I was like drooling and swinging from side to side in myself. It was then I realized that I needed more energy and also have to eat a lot more. Well, for people who don't know me - heres' one thing about me - I don't usually have breakfasts at my hostel because for one reason I wake up late ( not too often though, I mean not when I have to go for college)  and may be because the food at my hostel sucks and also that there is a battle at the food stall and a long queue and I would rather stay up without eating rather than waiting endlessly for the food which is not that good( well, not at all good). And my lunch and dinner goes the same way - I mean I don't take much. Thats' why when I get back home when I usually get the usual meal, I feel like I ate the whole days' meal in one go. 
My College 

Now, the task was to get down. It seemed like easy but actually it wasn't. We had to have grip and avoid skidding and slipping on the downhill path, else one would be dragged to the bottom of the mountain. Wait, I didn't mention how the mountain was, right? It was like any other mountain. The path was made by the people who set up the cell tower at the top of the mountain. So, it was the only way up. Since it was used on a regular basis by the technicians and the watcher the path was little gravel-ish with lot of red sand. There were rocks but were little bit apart from each other. So, we had to walk only on the sandy path which seldom slipped because it is sand and it would. Climbing up was hard but climbing down was even harder. Each step has to be made properly and with balance. I was showing some hero-ism over there by climbing down using the rocks. Because I had an excellent grip with my shoes on the rocks. But the rocks were going away from the actual path. So, I had to stop my hero-ism and get back to the sandy slope. It was then I realized that these shoes were not for such sandy paths and it was too too slippery. It took more time to climb down than to climb up. 
Woodland Shoes 

When we reached the bottom, we were totally exhausted and were unable to take any more steps. So, some of the guys called their friends to ride back to college-hostel. While two of the guys were so interested in watching the shooting and also to get a photo with the actress. So, they call me, the camera guy. I too was totally exhausted but stayed strong. May be I am strong but would be more stronger if I followed a strict regime to stay healthy. Anyways, I'm forced to go along with them despite my condition, that I may collapse any moment. So we go over there. She, The actress, is a budding artist who is milky white and thats' the reason why these guys are so interested in getting a photo. Well, I wasn't that interested. Firstly, I don't have a photogenic face and I would be the total contrast in the picture. Well, I would to go with the first reason. So, I was there standing with my camera. I don't have a zooming lens so I couldn't get a better picture or even a good picture. So, these guys waited for the scene to get over so that when she comes back, they could get a snap. I was totally worn out by that time and I just couldn't stand any longer and the sun was becoming torturous with every passing second. So, when they got vexed after a long and repeated takes of a tiny bit of the movie, they finally decided to get back to hostel. I was totally relieved at that moment. 
Me  |  At the Hill Top 
P.S. *UPDATED* the photos. Courtesy : Ajay Kontham Photography . :D

Thursday, May 24, 2012

In My Sleep.

It is inevitable. The longer we are involved, the longer we enjoy until we wake up to the reality of life and realize that nothing was real. When I wake up from sleep, I realize that I was in a relatively different world. And let me tell you, that's quite fascinating and quite real(for the time being) as well. I enjoy almost all my dreams and so far I don't think I had any nightmares in which I had to wake up in the middle of the night screaming. Dreams are a total alternate reality. Often it happens that I am kinda superhero sort of in my dream and the center piece of the whole story. ( Obviously, right? Its' my dream and who else would be there? I was just sayin..!) But when I wake up, which is not with my will though, firstly, I would have to curse the phone for its scorching high alarm tone or the person who made me wake up. The flow of the dream is broken and everything feels wrong until it is completed. So, five minutes more, I say to myself and try to continue it where it stopped (paused) before I was woken up by some element. It doesn't happen though. It doesn't continue. That dream ended the moment I woke up. I seldom say to myself that I shall have that dream which I had last night/ morning. But No, every night a new dream to live with, a new chance to be a hero or just get screwed up. People say dreams are the subconscious memory. I second that. But sometimes its totally different and I keep wondering "Subconscious Memory? ..huh"  where I seem to be flying over cities or even doing those things which aren't possible in real life. That's something, right ? (Oh! By the way, I watch a lot of movies and TV series, so may be my subconscious memory then). 

A week ago, I was woken up my dad in the morning. The morning was bright and shiny and it was pretty late as well. If I had a college, I'd be late by over an hour. But that was a holiday. So, I lazily drool over in the house and sit in front of my laptop and start checking fb & any comments on my previous posts. I found no notifications nor any comments. So, I get even more lazy and lean back into my chair only to find me sleeping. The other day, my dad asked me for something which I was supposed to give right at that moment, but didn't. So, in my dream that morning I was asked again. So, I get up and give it to him and I wanted to tell him something but he was busy on his phone. The next moment,  I wake up and see my dad at a distance and call him near to tell him something which I clearly can't recollect. Something which I wanted to tell him in my dream, I just couldn't remember. I convince him that I forgot what I wanted to tell and will tell him the next moment I remember it. I sat there wondering what was that I wanted to tell him as it seemed pretty important. But alas! I forgot! My bad. Later the next day, he asks me for the thing which I thought I already gave it to him only to realize that I gave him in the dream and not in the real life. I laugh at my stupidity inside but outside I was actually guilty of not passing on the thing which I was supposed to. Pretty Strange! I know, I sound totally crazy.

So here are some of my dreams....
Note: Dreams are those things which I usually get when I sleep. Don't mistake it with the life dreams like ambition something(which I clearly don't have yet). (Just in case, if you are wondering).

Image Courtesy : Google Images
I was on my bike when I saw the Police check point at a distance. I was fully equipped with all that necessary documents and even the helmet(i think). But every time he stops me and makes a huge waste of my time. I thought may be, not this time. So I was at my usual pace when he signals me to pull aside. I did't wanted to. So, I raise and go past him. Until another police man comes in front of me from I don't know where. He pulls me aside. I thought "I am screwed like hell". I just couldn't take it any more finally woke up. I thought "Thank God, that was just a dream!"

I was dead, Wasn't I?
 It was under-water. May be it was a submarine. I opened a metal door. There was an empty space, an elevated platform and which also gave the view of the floor below it. It was calm. I might have been someone, but had no idea who I was. I don't even know what I was doing there. I open a door slowly without arising any kind of noise for suspision. May be I am an undercover agent or just an ordinary man stuck in a sub-marine sort of ship which is underwater. I didn't know. There were people hurt and tied to chairs. So, I untied them. They ran away immediately without letting me put my question. I ran after them, but I just missed them. A moment later, there was a loud noise and people started running helter-skelter. I found a gun at the corner of the dark empty room. It was more like a machine gun. The next thing, I knew I was shooting at them. But they weren't getting hurt. I thought I missed them all the time. As the voices drew louder, a junta of people dressed in some commando-type dress were approaching towards me. I was shocked to death. I saw them pointing the gun towards me and so I thought before its' too late and get captured by those unknown people, I should kill myself. So, I shot at myself with the machine gun which I had in my hand. I thought I was dead. As those people caught me and with many too many guns pointed at me, I realized that I was firing blanks! And I wasn't dead ! 

Image Courtesy : Google Images 
It seemed like an abandoned building more like a mansion. The light was less inside. It appeared dark. As I moved through the rooms, each room led to another and it never ended. It had a large corridor and even more room appeared. I thought I was lost in some unknown place. For it was an island. That all I knew. I could hear the sound of the waves gushing towards the shore. As I searched for myself in the lost place I found a few people. I never saw them before and were too very much unfamiliar. I dared not to speak but remained with them. They were a herd of four people. As they moved within the little yet big mansion I came to know they were lost as well. It was until a room came which had a big room and was filled with many more people. All I knew was that we were trapped and all the people had some mighty weapons in their hands. And also the date on the calender showed 2nd of December 2010. But the last thing I remember was that I celebrated the New Year of 2011. Some said it is an scientific experiment and that the time looped back to a month every time and that was the sixth time. When the reason for the same was asked they said "They had to create a project by the 1st of January 2011 " and added "May they are not even close".

An Angel
Image Courtesy : Google Images
" The sun was just near the horizon when that little kid saw his mom for the last time. His eyes covered in sorrow of pain. So little was he, so much he knew about the pain of loss. After all that was his own mother. What he thought was happening I wasn't sure. But I could see the little hands tremble in fear as he held his brother's hand firmly. The ceremony was over by the start of the day. The name was carved "In Loving memory of Mariah ..". That little boy stood there while every loved one who came left. He didn't what the term cancer meant but that was all that occupied his head and  the little beautiful moments of him with his mom. I saw him smile once. He seemed lost. Lost in the thoughts of his beloved mom. As the time flew by, the sun rose higher above the horizon and as if some miracle might have happened the sun smiled at him. He was amazed and was filled with a hope. All that he said was," I saw mom! She has become an angel". The little amazement of the little boy amazed me. As I saw him leave with a happy mind and a heart of satisfaction, I was filled with happiness."

The Last one is My Favorite. That was the most awesome dream I had ever had. I just can't forget the bright sun smiling. Simply Superb, I would say.

P.S. : Here are just a few of the things, I mean dreams which I could remember for now.  Hope, this isn't a disappointment. I also know some are totally lame, but I don't think they are worse than the actual me. 

Low Pitch

Disclaimer : The post title makes no sense to the post. This is just another random post, rambling to be precise. I am avoiding to sound too random all the time. So, this post- title is totally random. Don't curse later that I didn't warn.

Dear Readers, 
Something I just noticed. I got a text from my bro. So, I checked my blog. I usually don't read my blog after I write. But while I write, I am not writing all the time. I watch tv in middle or play a game on my iPod or drool away into some dreamy world. So, what I noticed was that I skip some  of the words in the sentences. I feel awkward about that. I mean the sentence(s) makes no sense at all. I'm sorry about that. My sincere apologies . I need to extra cautious from now on.
-The Writer (or whatever you think I'm; :D )

The Question about Why!
I don't know about most people, but as far as I know some really do hate social networking sites. The thing is that most of my relatives are on Facebook. Well, I don't usually mind any. The history goes back to Orkut. So, I came to all this social networking through a friend and the first being the Orkut. When I first started I didn't like it because I didn't clearly understand what it was and what we are supposed to do. So, I started adding my classmates from my eleventh grade. Then in Orkut, there were scraps- which is equivalent to the wall on the Facebook. So, people used to talk through scraps and Google talk, I think. There are some things about these social networking sites which makes people intrigued. For one thing, they are addictive, right? So, I was obsessed and addicted ( a little bit, or so I assume) to it for some time. It became interesting. Some people even suggested me Facebook at that time. So, I also joined it but had no idea how it worked. All my friends were on Orkut at that time and no one knew about FB or some were just like me unable to make out what this was an how it worked. Slowly Facebook became the hottest selling cake, while Orkut was sent to RIP. Now people laugh if someone says, they use Orkut, I mean seriously. Well, I would ROFL. I almost did it when I say a guy sitting in his car ans accessing Orkut outside the movie theater. I was literally LOLing, seriously I was and so was my bro. Orkut, at this time and that to be sitting in a car. Now, I am LOL-ing here while I recollect that incident and penning it down. 

Why my dad hates Social Networking Site(s)?

The incident which made my dad curious about this was something related to real life. So there were these two people (idiots) - One was in 9th standard while the other one was in 11th grade. The former was a girl and the latter a boy. Wait a minute, the ages must be wrong. I think I forgot. Lets just say that one was elder to the other. So, they met each other somehow - well obviously some one was stalking through the whole site but I don't think its' hard to find which one. So, they chatted for some time while one proposed to marry the other. They both were interested in getting married. So, these cyber-love kids get fond of each other. And the worst part was that the lady in love was a daughter of one of my dad's friend. So, You can imagine what would happen next. Though both my parents are against the whole social-networking thing, but isn't that todays' trend? So, there it began the story-of-social networking-hatred. So, you can see I am always on the vigil. But, isn't that creepy. Isn't it like reading the personal diary? 

Now, the trending is Facebook, obviously. All advertisements in the TV end with "Join us on Facebook" Or a Facebook like symbol. The Facebook is the Social revolution-er.  The phenomenal expansion took the standard of catching-up-with-friends to stalking-random-good-looking-people-trying-to-hook-up to marketing & advertising. Though in the middle my dad still hates the idea of it quoting some incidents from the newspaper. And I am like, What is Orkut doing in daily newspaper (This was the incident at that time, some 5 years back). Now, my dad is in my FB's friend list. And most probably following my blog as well. Though my space is disturbed, but I'd prefer to still stay on my terms until I get (well , you know) of this thing. Then, I may not sure what I might/would do! Well, I prefer not to say/not to think/ not to go that far. 

I wonder when my dad gets so startled on viewing my profile (though I don't have anything special to keep in it except my photos which look like "I'm super hawt (or so I prefer to think)" or my cousins' who would come up the re-shared meme's and other stuff mostly related to <3. What would other people do if they see their children's FB profile only to find that they are in a relationship and still aged 16 or even less!!?? I am not against it, though. I was just trying to picture it. I mean in a society like which I stay in, parents get a little cranky on these matters. I am not discouraging the people out there who are involved, but just warning or lets say "Just sayin'!" 

And one more thing about me is that I am totally reserved and I getting involved in  the dramatic anxiety of <3 is not in my blood. So, I'd prefer if no one thinks more about it and think that I would fall a prey into its mysterious web. No! I won't and I am totally against that idea.

And to the concerned, don't be so judgmental on small things / everything that is put up on FB.

P.S. : Why did I write this ? IDK ! I just wanted to. 

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Summer Thirst.

1. I was the hamster running in an microwave oven. Or so did I feel. The summer is pretty lame these days and is firing up every moment. It was a shiny, bright afternoon and I was all set on my bike. If I had corn in my pocket, I would have enjoyed some popcorn while I drove to my exam center. I was sweating and my shirt was fully drenched in water. I was totally dehydrated for one thing and then I had an exam. I didn't know the exam center, so I was on road pretty early in search of the same. But I must say one thing, Google Maps doesn't help all the times. And this was the third time I got fooled upon believing GM. 

2. I was with my helmet on to protect myself obviously. So, I reach the place which was showed in GM, only to find it wasn't the right place to start to look for. It was still some miles away. So, I keep away my helmet in a bit of frustration and I'm back on my hunt. The dusty wind was blowing like some super hot air cyclone. Already the humid climate made my face all sweaty and oily and to add to that now dust. I travel for another 5 kilometers or so and the location is still now close to me. So, I get some help and leave my bike there and proceed to the exam center on a local transportation. I reach the center 2 hours ahead. Don't call me punctual ( just too much , aint I?).

3. It was a school. And it was empty due to the summer vacation. I was feeling like total cr*p. And that humid climate and hot sun just made my day. I was wondering what I would do for the next two hours. I take out my handkerchief from my pocket to swipe the little annoying sweat dripping from all over my face. It was a plain white one which changed to all dusty with one swipe. For a moment, I thought it must have fallen down in the dust and I didn't know. But it didn't fall. Then I realize it is from my face which was due to the dusty storm which I mentioned earlier. 

4. I sat there thirsty. Waiting for someone to show up so that I could get saved from being totally dehydrated and die at that moment. But there was utter silence except the zooming cars, trucks, bikes and all sorts of vehicles. I sat there thinking, taking a nap and looking here and there. I could do nothing else except that. So, while I was in the think-process a question struck me which my aunt asked the previous day. "In which language do you think?" People here aren't so fluent in English. She said that the Priest at the Church usually speaks the native language and also in English for the English mass. He is't that fluent in English so one of the people advised him to think also in English and in the time being he can pick up fluent English. When she asked me, I didn't know the answer at that moment. I forgot that I was thinking in my mind about what language I speak but unaware of that simple fact. I thought harder and replied that I will answer her back when I think next time. I know,  I sound weird. So, there at the exam center I remembered about the question and what was I thinking? I was thinking about what to write today after the exam was over. I was getting pretty good thoughts and fantastic word formation which rhymed and sounded good at that time. Now, I am banging my head to recollect what were those words. Well, thats' an other story. So, the answer - I think in English. Now, next question in my mind. "In which language do I dream?" Let me check tonight and get back with an answer. 

5. No water. Full thirsty. Lost in thoughts. Snail walking Time. Humid and bloody hot climate. Never ending sweat. Oily face. Weird hair style (seriously, totally messed up with all the dust and the sweat). Strange people- strange language. Building under renovation. Mens' toilet closed. Someones' parents looking for the room number in every nook and corner. Birds chirping. Birds shitting. Me aimlessly looking at others. *Opens phone- Slides to unlock - No messages - No emails - Still opens the read messages - Pretend to read it for the first time - locks the phone - unlocks the phone - locks it again - plays with the phone (rotate on a single finger) - phone falls down - silently keep it inside*, *Looks around - some people like me arrive - Clean my sweaty face* , * Check my hairstyle - Adjust it a little bit* , *Takes a little nap* *Repeat from the beginning after ten minutes* . 

6. Times up. The exam begins. I was already feeling very wasted and I need a real cold bath at that moment. I am not sure what I am gonna write. I don't feel like writing. The sun had dehydrated me. Took away the little energy in me. And I feel like total c*ap. The mood inside me is not pleasant. Exam starts. The invigilator murders the ENGLISH language. I wasn't in a mood to laugh or correct him either. Still feeling thirsty, no one knows where the effing water is. I make up my mind - Survive for 3 more hours and then you can have all the water in the world. A bottle of water arrives. Alas! At last, I shout in joy in my mind. *Let me finish this question*, then I'll swallow the whole bottle, may be. It takes time, but I complete. Where the hell is the bottle? I see an empty bottle on the other side of the room. BIG EFF. Damn you people, don't want me to live till the exam finishes. Times' on a run as if some apocalypse broke out. I complete the exam half an hour before. But I have a policy not to leave the examination hall before the time ends. I finally control my thirst. Or may be not, just forgot for the moment, or don't know - I just sat idle. There are negative marks for every wrong answer and I had made pretty wild guesses already. So, I had to stop. Then it struck me. I survived. I need to get out this. I hand to the English-killer-invigilator the answer sheet and also the question paper. I get out. 

7. At the shop, after about half a kilometer, I buy a drink. I pay him. He puts the money in the cash box, that bottle is empty. He looked startled. He looked down just to check whether I spilled the whole drink out on the ground. I get to my senses now. I feel a little re-freshened. I drive back to home as fast as I can. I thought I was giving the most acceleration as I did, but I wasn't moving a bit, not literally. It felt like a life time to reach home - my aunts' home. I saw them go for shopping with my little cousin, while her mother in law was at home. When I reached, she complains about my aunt. I was like "What the hell?". I ignore what she had to say. I give a fake smile and and 'Oh!' exclamation and escape that moment. God, I hate talks behind the backs! and mostly women-ish talks, I just hate.

8. I drank approximately 2 liters of water in a span of 15 minutes. I am quite sure, much more water was dehydrated from me. Ah! That felt good. By the way, no more cold more was left. :( . I sit down while my cousin comes back home and turns on the TV just to watch another not-so-good-animated-cartoon. I mean look at the characters. Their face is totally deformed and I don't understand why is their chin displaced to the right from the upper part of the face. Don't imagine. Not quite a good thought. While the cartoon character create and solve the problems themselves, he just enjoys it while I don't-know-what-to-do. I needed a bath. Just then, I was to go for a cold shower so I close my laptop and stand up. Whoosh! The powers' gone. I wonder what generators are for. While they have been under repair for over a year, we are soaking in our own sweat. An inverter could do the job of powering a fan and a light on a small scale though but we won't be bathing in our own sweat. After 3 hours of cursing and fanning ourselves manually, the power was back just to save us from the end-of-the-world. 

9. So far for today. Numbered-incidents. Thought of writing it differently. I mean I actually had some pretty good thoughts while I was sitting idle in the school(exam center) while I was in the worst mood and shabby avatar as well. So, Now this should end. I don't like ending on odd numbers. I like even numbers. So, another one..

10. POD {Photo Of the Day} :

P.S. : No post script in mind. I already told too much today. =P ! 

Sunday, May 20, 2012

A Child's Game

Am I growing too slow or are the kids these days are growing too fast? Time flies by, petty fast these days, so I am normal, I suppose. Well, again I am travelling. Again, another exam. I don't want to speak about it. I am pretty much done with my college and all that is left is getting my certificates. I don't know whether my college would conduct a convocation day or not, but I need them as of now for the job which I would be joining later in the coming month. 

While I was in college, I stayed up at hostel. Though I had many known people in the city and also some of them were my relatives but they either stayed far from my college or I didn't wanted to burden them with my presence. So, I made occasional visits to these houses. It is like all my relatives are in this city only. Seriously, almost all are here. So, I am have to visit them occasional either casually or some occasion like birthdays. And there are kids not of my age group. The people of my age group would also be in some college and they are at some other place. So, it was me. On an occasional visit to one of my relatives house, they kids there would just fall up on me showing too much love. I am the silent guy for I am as always, which gives them an upper hand to manage me efficiently to their purpose. I didn't understand at first why these small cute kids were just over-expecting from me. At some odd moment, I refuse to do what they me to do, so they get all angry and hate me. Then again after some time, they get back to me. I don't say a word, but still they do. In such occasion their parents order them to study. They get all cranky and don't listen to them and make me their scapegoat for some more time. I sometimes think they are just getting on me as they want to escape from some study time and have some time for playing. When one of these little ones mention about me to one of their friends/ cousins / everyone else, they are all praising me for the reason I never knew and my other cousins think I am also some kind of toy and start jumping on me fondling with me. I am like, "what did they tell and what on god's green earth are they doing to/with me. 

So did I think. Today, as usual I went to visit them and also I had some work over there. I went along with my brother. Earlier when they used to hear my name, they used to get all excited. So, I was expecting the same. There was no such thing. The air of silence surrounded me. I was relieved at first and then my brain started thinking the reasons. Now my brother was the target. So, it seemed as I had escaped from the child's play , I was still dragged into street cricket and an evening walk by my cute 8 year old cousin sister. She is just too adorable but I still tease her by saying no to her every request. The thing is that they were having a summer break and the pretty girl was getting hyper-bored at home. So, she doesn't want to waste a second of the tiny chance she could engulf. The focus shifted from me to my brother. The little transition led me to this post. Thats' not big of a deal. I just wanted to understand the ideology of a child like how they understand and how they prioritize what they want and how they see people. I sometimes wonder whether I was the same when I was a kid, for which I get an answer from my deepest voice, No! You were much worse. May be true, may be not. I don't think I am a kid anymore and I think I shouldn't be thinking much about it. But I just can't help but think about it. Reason being unknown, I find myself pestering my mind to find some answers to the craziest of the thoughts. I want to understand human behavior and this is another part of it which is like a liquid - flexible and taking the shape of what's to come. So, the conclusion that I draw is that you entertain them, you are their best buddy. You give them what they want, they will just love you for everything. You just say one no, and you are their enemy (for the time being). Different kids, different choices; but all they want is to get everything like they wish it to be. Kids, right ? Can't really help ourselves when they make that cute little face and request/plead !

I've much more in my mind as I have been thinking about the same for the past 2-3 years whenever I get a chance. So, all got jumbled at the moment and fishing them out is quite difficult. No, that isn't the reason. I thought this itself would be hard to read so why bother the dear readers. 

So Photo of the Day [POD], { Photo here refers to illustrative image} as I said I would.

P.S. : I saved this post in drafts for like six times with gaps filled with question whether to post or not or let myself sound lame & stupid. After series of baffling thoughts and a tiny war between yes and no, I finally choose the Yes option. Do I sound lame/stupid? I do. 

Friday, May 18, 2012

Rambling #1

I Don't Know What to Write

Good is for the last. I was at a party this night. A farewell party to my dad. I wasn't actually interested in going there, but had to. *Sad Face* First of all, I had a weird hair cut the other day which is like the porcupine. And secondly, I could do better thing at home like watching some movies or write something interesting. So I was there playing on my iPod while my brother was busy clicking photos. I don't know anyone for one thing and there was no one of my age group except my brother. So, I have to keep an artificial smile on my face whenever some uncle stares at me and I respond as if I know and they do the same. Strange though! So was the strangeness of the hour. And I don't eat much when I am at a party. So, I end up as fast as I can. Then there was dessert. I was so relieved from the spicy food which just fired up my mouth like a wildfire. So, yeah, Good is at the last for the best. 

Some hours earlier, I was teasing my brother to turn off the AC to save some current. After spending like some fifteen minutes or so, I come out of the air cooled room just to feel the essence of sun next door. It was burning hot. Seriously! Unbearable heat. The temperature is rising like anything these days. And the aftermath of a fresh bath is worn out in just a minute or may be less. If I can't bear the heat in my home, how about I go out for an afternoon walk? May be I will be vapourized in the street leaving no trace. Oh God! Why so much heat? Wait a minute! God has nothing to do with this. Its us, isn't it? Global Warming. No matter what more one does, this heat isn't going to stop from making one's life miserable for an ample amount of time. Only early mornings and late nights are the grace period when I don't have to curse the consequence of Global Warming. If this continues, in a decade or so, one would have to carry a mini air-conditioner (handy) along. 

In other news, I need to make some real money real fast. My wish list is piling up and I am with an empty pocket. I need to somehow double, no triple, no quadruple the money somehow. It is just that my desires never end and also keeps on increasing. So, I saw somewhere that there are attractive prizes for writing as well. The latest one had a Macbook as first prize and Playstations as second prize and so on. I was first shocked seeing MacBook as 1st prize followed by playstations. Then when I read the posts which people wrote, I thought I had no chance. So, next time I should be totally prepared and got to give the best. But, this just remains a dream. Someone or the other comes up something more interesting and mine just becomes obsolete. I should find something which stands out, speaks out and never at the reach of the others. Wait a minute? Does such a thing exist? Thats' my new aim to find the inevitable. Be Invincible. So, if you are reading this, probably you might already know about what I mentioned earlier. If you don't, its the Indiblogger website which comes with such cool competitions. I know that my chances of winning are Zero, Nil, NULL and I just told you. Now, you'll have a better chance of winning. I bet. But still, it will be a healthy competition, I suppose where you'd win and I lose trying. 

The initial topic of this post was "I Don't Know What to Write" but then I thought it doesn't sound cool so changed it. But I will surely come up with something interesting. Thats' what I had been telling myself for the past one month and still no progress. :( . 

So, I'm thinking of posting a photo/inscription/meme/illustrative images/*whatever thats interesting* depicted in photos either as quotes or anything as a matter of fact. So here it is..
Image Courtesy : Google 

P.S. Earlier I used to come up with puzzles just to keep the readers a little more engrossed to my blog. If that seems to be a good idea, I'll come up with some; only if the readers are interested. And also a picture speaks a hundred words. Though, not a picture, It gives good message. So, drop your opinions about this illustrative and about the puzzle thing.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012


A Life with certain desires. As time passes by, the life seems to be more meaningful and the struggle is inevitable. Life is such. In the process of reaching the clouds or the sky or the stars; there is fight, struggle for succeeding. But life isn't all about the goals and the weary dreams which seems legit at starting and become complicated as time flies by.

Sometimes we fall, sometimes we get down intentionally and the rest of the time people pull our leg. Because they don't like the idea of someone succeeding. The competition is healthy but ends up one sided and has all the elements of betrayal and inhumane thoughts. In all this time, we wonder sometime what we want to become and what want to do. We might love something and totally hate something. But we choose what we love to do. So, what don't we do to keep what we want. 

A Fight. 
Last week, I was at my Aunt's house as I had some exam. So, I was sitting and surfing the internet when my cousin brother aged 5 starts pinching his 12year old brother just because he changed the TV channel. And the older guy isn't such a soft one either, he keeps his interests to his own and don't care about his brother. Their mom shouts and the little one wins. There were similar such incidents where the little fight is won by the little one alone. Of course, right? He is so small and gets whatever he wants and the others like his brother has to adjust to pretty little things. That night, when the sky was dark I lay down to sleep after writing and publishing a post. All I could hear when I closed my eyes were the shouts/screams/squeals of the little guy. 

The above text has no much relevance. I just had that on my mind. So, I was saying Fight. Nothing is at the reach of the hand. No one is born with a silver spoon. No one helps when we are alone struggling. It all comes to us. What did we do when faced with a problem? What did we do to get what we wanted? In short, live for what you love/like. Fight for what you want. 

Well, this is something I wanted to write about and started with all the nonsense. So, Impressing and Impression. From school till so far, I have seen people including myself when we get to do things unknowingly just to impress or print a standard impression. So, how does one do that? Either flatter, or help or by getting involved. So, to impress teachers there were always bookworms who rise their hand to ask the questions(Stupid ones) and probably sit in the first benches. Isn't it so? One needs to be alert in the class to do that, I mean impress. Then there comes the students. Some find others attractive and what not they do just to impress.

I remember a guy from my school. I was in my 8th grade I suppose. That day was one of the girls' birthday and this guy who sat next to me was busy planning with a paper in his hand. And the next moment I saw him he was piercing a paper pin into his finger while the blood oozed out of it. "What the hell are you doing?", I asked (shouted). He calmly replied, "Wait for it". So, I observe him what he was doing. He covered the page on which he was writing and wrote something on it using his blood. Now, I was't that much dumb either to understand what he was writing. But I just didn't understand why blood. But he looses his confidence to face the girl as the lunch break arrived. Rest is history. For we were just children and the crazy idea of love is beyond our head or at least some of us except that guy.

Isn't it something which everyone strives to achieve. Though good or bad, each throws an impression on other which sometimes defines their state of mind or their behavior. First impression is the Last Impression. I'd truly go with that. Not that I make a good impression in the first time, just that I would like to follow this simple funda. If you ask me, sometimes the first impression isn't always ever-lasting. People change and so do the other people and eventually the standard form of impression is altered. The impression changes with just one wrong thing which shouldn't have been done, but under vile circumstances were done. Regaining that lost impression is totally difficult and totally impossible. 

Well, I am the silent guy. Ask anyone in my class, people wouldn't believe if I talk much. Nor even my relatives. When I was in college, I just sat there and watched people. You may ask, "Why don't I talk?". I'll make this short. Whenever I have something to tell or say to someone, my mind maps down what others might think if I say that and after series of algebraic mapping using some complex formulas, I conclude that it is better not to say anything and remove all the doubt. So, there it is. (By the way there is no formula of any kind, I just made that up). But I still try to do the inevitable thing. I try to. I had many instances when I was wrong / they were wrong. But I didn't care. I did what I wanted to do and at last I ended up being the scapegoat. It was then I realized that impressing means doing their dirty laundry. I am here speaking about the people of my age, my classmates and people I know. 

In a totally unrelated topic, it seems that no one likes my hair style. First of all, I grew it a little long (not to long) intentionally. Because I look damn good. But everybody at home wants me to likes a professional hair duo with little hair. First of all short hair isn't my thing and it looks totally awkward and I look a big dumb, seriously I do. Secondly, inspite of my telling they don't listen. But, I really don't care about what they think. So, here I am imparting a bad impression on the people about me, aint I?. But then again, no one leaves me alone. Everybody just crawls up to my hair and keep bragging about it. Seriously, If I need to impress someone, I need to look good, right? And when I feel I look like a dumb in an army hair cut with porcupine style, how am I supposed to proceed? #JustSaying. So, yeah! I just couldn't get their prying eyes off my hair and their vague comments and so, finally got a hair cut. Now I look like a stupid. And I am kinda pissed right now.

I think I am being watched. So, I must be extra cautious. 

P.S. : I am in void. There is a lot on my mind and I just can't think straight. I might just explode any minute or break something. I think I may be a little hyper right now. There is a lot to do and I have no idea where to start. Thats' why I can't even write these days. :( :(

Monday, May 14, 2012

At the end of the Day.

Pleased with the dark dusky outfit which the sky bore, I was left to admire the serene beauty of the pleasant night sky. With the illuminated dusty roads and the fast zooming cars I was somewhere lost as the sudden flash from the passing car struck me on the face. I was in a journey and occupied the window seat as I always do. iPod check, Songs on, while I slowly slip into another reality thinking, dreaming and imagining. It was getting darker  with the seconds that passed. The transportation vehicle in which I was travelling was a smooth ride which didn't break my flow of thoughts. So, I lay wondering about *something* as the starts danced in the sky while I lay watching as a spectator. 


Sunday went by and I didn't feel like it was a Sunday. I will make this short. Firstly, I had an exam today. It was a two session exam one forenoon and another afternoon. One thing I came to know today:
"This is how it feels like when someone comes without preparing a bit. I mean like No-Preparation, Zero, NULL". 

Where everything is getting computerized these days, some still follow the previous fashion for conducting entrance examinations. Objective type is one thing. And another thing is Subjective. I came to know that there was a theory paper as well for the entrance examination the day before it. Who would have dreamt of such a disaster? Clearly, I wouldn't have even in nightmares. So, I was like "Darn, this is gonna be one big disaster". For one obvious reason, objective paper is easy. Even if we don't know we could guess unless there is negative marking. But in subjective, what could anyone write? I don't get to write my normal exams properly even after night-long hard-work. So, I decided it the day earlier that this exam was gonna suck the most. Still I manage to create some spooky answers and using my imagination create something wild over there. The evaluator would probably hang himself tagging me in his suicide note saying that he can't live in a world with such genius or the  opposite of it. Long story short, the exam was fine, nonsense filled and out of context equations with self implied hypothesis explaining the little known facts with completely unrelated and unimaginable formulae deriving the required answer. But the exam was for 2 hours + 2 hours and all I did was roam the remaining time on my bike first to find the exam center and then just because I had too much money in my pocket for petrol (No this is not the reason. I was being sarcastic). The rest of the time I sat outside the exam center listening to songs on my iPod and everybody was looking at me like I'm crazy listening to songs and playing angry birds before the exam. Well, I don't care about their stupid stare. So the exam was done and I thought of going to KFC for I didn't had lunch. By the way, I don't eat much during exams. I would sometime skip breakfast or lunch or dinner or breakfast and lunch or breakfast and dinner or lunch and dinner or all. That KFC was full. Today is a Sunday right. Though, I didn't feel like it was a Sunday. Did I say, I would make it short? I did. If it isn't short as you migh have anticipated, I must have lied then. 

The whole day went by in a jiffy and it was pretty fast too. Next moment I remember, I was on my return Journey sitting in the window seat while the person next to me and also the person next to him in another row were flashing their new Samsung mobile phones calling and rejecting calls. What the hell are you guys doing? ,I shouted in my mind. Wait a minute, I don't care. So, I get back to my game on iPod while the music blared the headsets. I told myself that I should not fall asleep. But without my conscious effort, I slowly drifted into the spooky dreamy world. The music was loud in my ears and clearly I couldn't hear a darn thing. My stop had arrived and the people who were to get down there got down. Suddenly, I wake up and look around. It looked new. I thought is it my stop yet or some other stop. I still try to figure out looking at the sign boards trying to recollect any part of the missing puzzle. Suddenly, I find one and immediately get down. The time was 0030 hours and I didn't wanted to wake up my dad and ask him to pick me up from where I got down. So, I make my way to home. As soon as I get back home, I plug my phone and laptop and start Facebook and blogger while I tune to the sports channel to know the Soccer updates. 

And before I forget, Happy Mothers Day.
Image Courtesy : Google Images
So, Happy Mothers Day to all MOMS. 

Sunday, May 13, 2012


It isn't too much to take, but still it is still hard. My day has been filled with all sorts of variation. And also this happens to be the third post today. Perhaps the reason would be that I am too bored(not a chance) or I actually want to keep writing(probably true).

The morning with its serene beauty and angelic atmosphere was just ambient enough to radiate the lazy bones to synthesize the energy in me. It was just to much exotic and pleasing at the same time. The bright radiance elated the sleeping soul. Such was the sheer awesomeness of the morning glory. 

The beauty of the calmness was destroyed and deployed of the little warmness, which makes one feel better, as time flew by. The ambient sun was on top of the head and with its enormous radiating energy stimulating the hottest rays upon the face of the earth. The result was loss of the radiance acquired from the glory of the morning sun. It became dull as a dried flower. Humidity and the sweat added to its flavors to cause much more repulsion of the hour of the day. Such was the awkwardness of the not-so-good-afternoon.

At dusk, the humid was still playing its vivacious role to make ones' life miserable. Then there it struck. The lightening from the sky. As someone prayed or fasted for the rains to the Rain God. There was bliss. A cold tiny droplets changed the face of the atmosphere. The humidity subsided beneath the grounds as the dark clouds took the power from the setting sun. The sky rocked with the thunderous storm lightening which illuminated the whole sky for steep amount of time. Eventually the rain-gods took leave. That was a momentous party but still the climate did change to a total different variety. The freshness overtook the face of the atmosphere and there was sheer awesomeness once again. 

While these climatic variations were taking place, a friend of mine buzzed me in the facebook chat. He said just three words. That gave a skip in the beat and a cold shiver down my spine and I think the heart got displaced a little bit. Just for a second everything blacked out. A second later I could hear my heart beat loud and clear as I head the violent thunderous lightening. "Results are Out". Thats' what he said. So, I shrug a little bit and hesitate to check my result. Yes, I was afraid. Afraid not of losing it, afraid of unable to face it. But, then again I am the rebel. So that former kind of behavior would give a bad name/disgrace to my latter nature. So I muster my courage as I proceed to check my result shivering from inside ( you weren't supposed to know this). I pray for a second while my eyes remained closed. The page didn't load yet when I open to check. I pray doing a hand gesture again, the page is still loading. I do that again, the page is still loading. Why is it taking all the time in the world? Just to make me suffer for this small time which could even get a heart-attack. Alas, it finally displays with so much struggle at last. Yes, The result was bad or let me say, I was disappointed. Though many would rejoice and give a grand party for the score I got, but still there is a chance (like 75% or even more) of getting even better. What else can I do? I could apply for revaluation but then again I should be happy for what I got. "Its' God's will!".  If karma does exist, let me see whether it makes me best of it or worst of it to suffer. The next moment, the Facebook statues were flooded with the updates from my friends. Some too happy , some even more happy while some sad and some cursing the people for making to much blunder in giving the predicted score. 

So Much for today! Already three posts & the flow chart from morning to this moment depicting the variations in me : 

Calmness/Energy  (to) Uneasiness/Lazy (to) Peace/Idle (to) Tension/Hyper (to) Mixed Thoughts/(!) (to) *whatever it is called that i'm feeling right now*(??!!!)

Just watch out tomorrows' morning, escape the afternoon and relive in the evening. 

So Far. 
Take Care. :)

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Afternoon in the City.

It all drained down the lane. My energy expired the moment I stepped out. There was a strong humid atmosphere and hot winds which blew me away, not in a good sense. In a matter of seconds there was a feeling of uneasiness in me. There was a wide disparity between the mornings and the afternoons. I can live the mornings but afternoons are like hell-traps. You walk out and there is this feeling which just drains your little energy. 

Along with the severe climate, there is something more intriguing. The Power Cuts. I get busy no matter what I do online. May be it is writing blog or browsing or watching some tv series. Suddenly there is this power cut at the peak hour of the day. The blog post doesn't get saved while I'm busy writing like a professional. All when I check again, the post is stopped at the point when the power went off. Not cool, I tend to have a short-term-memory loss and sometimes long-term also. So, I can not recollect what I wrote some two hours ago. Sucks, right? I know. The whole context changes and I end up in an total different world of the topic which isn't related in a minimum sense to the topic.

So, I went out to post something. I had to take a print out and post it in Speed Post. So, I get the print out and then I find out that it needs something more. And the worst part is I saw that at the Post office before I wanted to post it completely. So I had to get back, take another print out and complete the necessary things. So the person at the Post Office tells that that Speed Post will be closed at 1400 hours and I was there at 1415 hours the second time. So, in no time I write a 250 word story about "Purpose of Joining (*the college's name*)". I totally mess up the content because I am the worst under pressure. Not that I didn't know about this earlier; just saying. After all the mess up, he is kind enough to take mine as well. Thank God, he took it. Else I'd have been literally killed by my dad. 

While in this process, my hair went from a sexy hair-duo to sluggish. The key factors being the dusty wind, humidity and all other weather factors. Also the dusty wind made it much more difficult to travel on a bike. To add to it, the super hot sun which was just burning bright and red and imparting maximum heat it can. Thanks to the cover of trees else I would have been burnt to coal. Seriously! If the temperature rises even further, I don't know in how many years Summers would be declared stay-at-home month.

So far. 
Summer Afternoon are not my kind of thing. 

A Morning.

The bliss I failed to understand. Something I think I've missed all this summer. For I wake up late in the morning nearly around afternoon, I always failed to understand the silence of morning sun. The warmth so pleasant. Today I woke up at around 5 in the morning. This is not my routine though. But I had to travel to another place to write an exam which I am not sure what it is about. So, under peer pressure of my boasting alarm sound and mom trying to get me out of the bed else I'd be late for the departure time. I get ready and head out. It is little dark, but the sun is out but hiding behind the clouds. So, I reach for the Bus in which I am supposed to travel and start he journey.

There is was; shining behind the curvy clouds forming preposterous design in the naked sky. Then it hit me, a bliss in the morning glory. The sleepy head got a boast of energy. I felt alive, some kind of feeling which I had missed for so long. While the Sun was playing hide and seek with me through clouds and the path of the road being uneven (curvy and not straight) so it was a game. The warmth felt good.

So, I thought it was time to think a better topic to write on for my blog. Oh! Yes, I think about my blog for almost half of the day, intentionally and unintentionally . The high-pith music blaring in my ears, the annoying sound of the movie in the Bus and the uncomfortable passenger seating beside me prevented the flow of thought. I had nothing else to do but admire the morning glory and get some Vitamin D. 


Thursday, May 10, 2012

In 55 Words.

55 Fiction

Disclaimer : Just trying out something with 55 Words. Risk it to Feel it. Images from Google. 

He was bewildered for a moment. He had an exam that day and she was there along with her father. He lost his senses and was immersed in the beauty. The exam went pretty bad as he kept thinking of her. He asked me "Is it love at first sight". I replied, "No My Friend, Its Infatuation".


He left it for good. It was difficult at first but eventually he had to. He was once a chain smoker which started as fun The doctor called him one afternoon to break the news that he had cancer. He had to live long enough at least for their children. He is just 25 for gods' sake.

In Good Terms
(At a Restaurant) 
The couple had a stupendous meal. She was utterly excited for she was expecting something marvelous to happen. He makes a grin face and says,"I can't see you anymore". Shocked she was and was almost choked and replies,"Why, Why break-up over such a dinner?". He says,"I wanted to part in good terms". She leaves with a broken heart.

P.S. There is a Twitter group with name "55wordstory"  where people post on a topic each day which is then uploaded into a blog. So I was going through them for getting some insight as of how people actually do that. While I was reading, I thought What? I could write much better than that. So, my trail. Hopefully, I will come up much more in due time. 
"Risk it to feel it" is just another name which I am giving to such kind of things where something could be felt if you know what I mean. If you don't know, never mind I will make it clear the next time when I come up with such a piece of work. 

About Me

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Bangalore, Karnataka, India
| Writer | Photographer | Split Personality Disorder | Foodie | Music | Art | God-Fearing Atheist | Movies | Golf | Soccer | Dance | Mentally Stable Psychopath |