Monday, October 22, 2012


I stare at the empty walls. I feel a little lost, a little absent. I have stopped giving effort. I have lost the sensitive touch of the hard life. There were times when I used to think about problems and dream about them to solve them. Now, I have an empty mind. I don't have a clue where to start, what to start with. I feel as if I switched off my mind or something. There is emptiness. There is darkness and I just added more darkness. 

The dawn broke down. The Sun rose up beyond the horizon and I still lay there on my bed hitting SNOOZE, every time. Tick Tock, the voice which I heard the least was lost in the morning bliss. Well, what worse could happen? I had no office, thank god for that. Yeah, No office since a week. One that's great, pretty great. I don't have to go to office and I don't have to get ready, I don't have to wake up early. Phew, that's a lot of things that could be struck out. Now, what great can I do staying in my room filled with the flying dust of the nearby building-construction site. The TV is ON, the moment I wake up and not to mention my laptop is fired up even before it, I mean I don't shut down it. It does its work , never the less until one day it breaks down, flushes itself into the deepest darkest hole and then its time for me to start cursing ans swearing. No, I am not kidding. You already knew? 

*Click* *Click* *Click* , I change the channels on the TV. Being bored of watching the repeated shows over and over again, I close it, I mean MUTE it, to be precise. I hand my laptop from my bedside, and it is already connected to internet downloading some TV Series. Oh, yeah, I haven't written a blog since forever. I better brush up my mind and get down into writing business. Well, the page is blank as a new fresh leaf shining white in its attire. I think. Think. Think. I start, not yet, I am still processing in my mind. Oh, god, I am slower than the Internet Explorer. What happened to me ? No idea, what-so-ever! I need a hobby. Writing is my hobby and its down the drain. Damn! Whats going on inside my mind. Am I losing myself? That preposterous assumption would be disheartening! What the hell? No, I am not losing myself. Or I already lost myself. Arghh.... I have no f"ng idea. The drafts are empty and I was shocked when I deletes 35 empty drafts for the last month. That's embarrassing but I am still bragging about it. 

The TV Series are better than most of the freaking movies. I feel they do more work in doing that 50 minute show to be telecasted every once a week, than making a regional movie, the movie in my language. Seriously, most movies suck. And more over the freaking (you read it wrong) wi-fi hasn't yet been set up, so I have to spend a pretty much more from my pocket which I wanted to avoid it so far. Damn you owners of this Paying Guest, why the hell don't you do your f"ng job properly? 

So, no social life, no other life, nothing. Just living in the dust which I spread on myself. But, I have developed to eat these days. I mean I could go without eating for a day and a half, even more but I didn't try over the just-mentioned value. Though breakfasts are a pass, but lunch and dinner are must, even if it is as small as a bite. Sometimes, I don't sleep and sometimes I don't sleep. I said it twice, didn't I ? My room mates call me the gadget guy and insomniac. Oh, hell they are right! Though, I still need to get a lot more gadgets. Only if I win a big pocket lottery. Yeah, you wish! 

Times Up! Wait for what? For your normal functioning of the brain. You have done so much  better than the past 2 months. Kidding. *coughs* This *coughs* guy *coughs* SUCKS *coughs*! Big TIME. Yeah, whatever! Time to set alarm. for snoozing. Com'on !!! Grow up dude !!

Saturday, October 6, 2012

modnaR | Random

The day was bright, I think. It is just like any other day for me. Well, the fact that I don't really have anything to do at hand and am sitting in my room almost everyday, I just keep losing the track of what-day-is-when. So, It is the other way of saying I-am-freaking-bored. As I am sitting and staring at my laptop the whole day, I am not getting some inspiration to write something. I go out once in a while to eat and my mind thinks of something to write. It catches something.. I mean everything and interprets something to write about. And I develop a nice little topic and the story in my mind. I get back to my room, sit in front of my laptop and wonder "What the hell was I wanted to write?". The mind goes completely awry and unconscious about every darn thing that I might have framed in my mind. I open the draft page like a hundred times and close it before even writing a single letter. 

Last week we were out searching for a new room. So, we were a junta of four guys set out to search a room for ourselves. We had some agreements and disagreements while searching it. But I-don't-freaking-understand some people, they are so volatile in their thoughts that I feel like kicking them in their face right on the nose. After all there is this guy, who gets hyper like freaking-hyper. That just pisses me off. Whats' more ? That hyper state leads him into freaking-stupid ideas. That just increases the bar. Well, the bottom line, he does all the talking tells about the pros and cons, *claps* and again about them and the process continues until I throw a satirical joke at him. He is like the ruling hand and the others agree to him. And not to mention the others are also like minded people but only that they dont get hyper as often as he does. 

We dont have to go to office. We were told to inform to a SPOC( Some Person Of Contact) who goes to the office once in a while and reports us whats happening. We don't have any projects as of now, hence we are all free doing nothing. Last week on Friday, we were told to go to office and the information is that there is some Interview for the project. I wasn't interested in going, but as some of the other guys were going, I also went. After a tedious wait for about 2 hours or more we were told that we have been mis-informed about it and there is no interview for us as of now. Big EFF. Yeah, a big one. And a day before yesterday, we were told that there is some training which is for a period of 8-9 months. After getting information from various sources that the training outside costs over one lakh rupees, many of my friends including me geared up for it. Until the other day, another tedious effing day of waiting and standing for the interview, we were told that there is no training as of such. Just that we will be given some tasks and we have to work on it ourselves. So, it was nothing but a total waste of time and energy.

I am confused. I am lost. I've no idea what I am writing. I will leave before I mess up already messed up post. 
But, I will be back, hopefully soon. May be!!!!!!!

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Bangalore, Karnataka, India
| Writer | Photographer | Split Personality Disorder | Foodie | Music | Art | God-Fearing Atheist | Movies | Golf | Soccer | Dance | Mentally Stable Psychopath |