Sunday, March 17, 2013

Standing at the Crossroads.

I am a child at thought
Everything looks so damn fascinating
As a child, I desire
Every petty little things.

For life is such, so predictable
So relishing, yet a little dangerous
A sight we often overlook
Mesmerized in its beauty

Many say, Life is Beautiful
Ah! Of course , it is
May be I don't know yet.
May be I am wrong, after all.

Past experiences has taught lessons
Lessons, in a most powerful way
That define the present, as well as 
The capricious future.

 But Life is so unpredictably erratic, I say.
Worked my way, risked myself
Just to ease the complications.
Its soft beneath the hardness, they say.

I beg to differ, 
While I wonder, judging their words
If its true at all
Then again, I perceive things.

Now I walk the dark empty paths
That Life laid to deep for me
In search of that softness
In search of that good.

That good, that gives hope
That good, that make me believe
The good, that does nothing less than good
Or does that good even exist, I wonder.

Standing at the crossroads
I see rather too many paths
Which fade in the darkness
But I have to make my decision

The Decision to make me, myself, 
The Decision that makes me unique
The Decision which could change the life
But I am lost in Dilemma.

Confused, Frustrated, Angry.
I drift from one cloud to another
As I struggle to land on one solid ground
Ah! I am so unbelievable.

Every path looks just perfect
Yet I have to follow one
That lays foundation for a better tomorrow
 And I am still lost in thinking.

'Be Careful for What you Choose'
I hear a faint voice, resonating
Awakening my every nerve
While I get down analyzing and thinking

But confusion surrounds 
As I fall deeper into dilemma
Unsure of where I am headed
Unclear of what I should choose.

I am lost, Just plain lost
Floating in unanswerable questions
Jumping from one thought to another
Losing myself with each passing moment.

- Ajay Kontham ™ © 2013

Written for 'Carry on Tuesday' #196 under the prompt "Standing at the Crossroads"

P.S. : I know I am late for submitting. But, I had this drafting for a week and I have to refine and put it out. So, now its out and I am sure it is not as good as I wanted it to be. 


  1. There are always crossroads, decisions and dilemma's in the journey of life ... we learn from mistakes and move on :-)

    1. Yeah, you are right.
      We learn from mistakes and move on. :)

  2. Beautiful poem Ajay:) You are so confused with life no :P

    1. Thank You, Bushra.

      Am I so predictable? :P

  3. Hahaha so cute! I guess we be children many paths to choose from!

    1. Yeah. And we would be happy with each path. :D

  4. No wonder, I could see lot of confusions and 'lost-ness' in your thoughts these days.. I wouldn't comment if the poem is good or use any other adjective, for, poetry is flow of feelings from heart, and what comes straight from heart is definitely an art in itself!

    The poem was longer than I expected, but quite short when I assume the amount of confusion you are carrying within yourself. Words are mere escape, and though they don't provide a solution, getting off that feeling for sometimes is definitely worth it!

    Just wondering how could you put it for one week, such feelings! Maybe that did let you in itself - the longer you keep such feelings 'in draft', in attempt to refine it, the dissatisfaction remains, rather is more when it finally comes out. Because during the time taken, and the changes made, the feeling was still making you knotty. And though it maybe beautiful to the world's eyes, through self perception, it has flaws coz somehow the feeling that the best was not given bites inside. So learn two things (I am sorry, thought I can't help, every time I end up giving an advice!

    One, dont keep things piled up for long, as it does hinders in bringing out the best in you
    And two, sometimes see yourself through the eyes of world. In your opinion, you might not have given the best, but then the world does love the raw appeal than the finished products!

    Take care! :) Don't keep getting lost for long :)

    1. Thats' a very sound advice like any other advice you have given me over the past month. You are just awesome, you know that, right? How come you have so much with you and still say you don't anything (something like that).

      Well, coming to problem at hand. Something just can't be controlled and something just don't get done whatever way we try. But at the end of the day they are still with us, sometimes haunting, sometimes overlapping out thoughts. And somethings are better left alone because if they are out, you might never guess how harsh the reality could be. Or otherwise.

      Anyways, I still want to take up your advice and learn those two things.

      Thank you. You too take care. :D

    2. Me and awesome? Well, I would gracefully thank you for that. (The reason for accepting is i believe you are quiet intelligent and thoughtful. So a complement from you, for me, well, must have some logical base. And for a change, I am not arguing on that! :P)

      I guess I understand that point. yes, some things do haunt and become an inseparable part of us. It's a truth of every life. But then, I still differ from the opinion that it is better not to let them out. Well, depends on how you are letting it out. Sometimes letting them out in words or in your diary is no harm. It would be with you, yet not inside. And there is a world of difference between them, though they seem kinda same.

      feels good to know that instead of getting irritated, you will try to follow the advice :P I hope someday you don't run behind me with a stick yelling stop giving advice :P

      Take care :)

    3. Yeah. Of course you are. No Doubt there. You are welcome. ( I am glad you are not arguing, else you know who would win, of course me not you. :P )

      Yeah, A diary! That sounds about good. I used to do that. But once it was almost discovered by my dad and you can least expect what was going on my mind and frankly nobody would believe what I wrote in my diary.

      Yeah, I always try to follow. But being a lazy bum, I always chicken out..
      That's not gonna happen. But I can't be so sure.

      You too take Care. :)
      Thank You. :D

  5. Beautiful! Confusions are sometimes good, in small doses. They make you think about what you really want and in the process show us who we really are.

    Until later,
    Keirthana :)

  6. beautiful..i wish such confusions to leave us alone..:) :D
    keep writing..;)

    1. Yeah.
      And it all depends on our decisions and actions.
      But then again, we are still surrounded with much more confusion.

    2. Confusions and problems never end for humans..i think the wiring of our brain is done in such a way that we never come out of them...:D

    3. Yeah. Exactly.

      Is that so? May be you are right. I think we have to re-wire our brain.. :D

  7. oh, you are so good at this, but are you really confused or what? :D
    anyway, I loved reading this. and yeah, nice white background, so comfy! :)

    1. Thank You, Dark Angel.
      I guess I am confused, not sure though. (I think you got the answer, right?)

      I am glad you liked this.
      Yeah, going the easy way. :P

  8. In life, we find ourselves at the crossroads a number of times. Ultimately, we choose where we want to go. Time tells us if I decision was right or wrong. Later, with a few regrets, we move on.

    Beautiful poem :)

    1. Exactly. Time does teach us on its part. But sometimes we always feel that regret sometimes. Hope you don't face any such.

      Take Care.

      Thank You. :D

  9. This is great and well worth the wait (Hey - that's a poem!) Thanks so much for contributing to Carry On Tuesday

    1. You are being too generous, Mr. Keith Hillman.
      But thanks, it just motivates me write more even if I am just too bad at it.
      Thank You for the opportunity to keep my mind busy with a few serious thoughts.

  10. Loved the portrayal of confusion we face so much in life!!

    Beautifully written

    1. Thank You.
      I am glad you liked it. :D


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