Monday, July 29, 2013

Art of Losing.

The last couple of months, I am kind of losing myself. Losing myself ? I wouldn't put it that way. Let's just say I am confused, for the time being. They say Technology is a curse. And I am just doing that, making it true in every sense. It is supposed to make life easier. Well, it is. A part of the like gets easier while the other part rots. But we are, okay, I am so immersed in the other part that I don't think about the other rotting part.

I have been off lately as you can see. I haven't been writing much these days. My idea of write almost everyday has gone down the drain. Not that I have succeeded in any of my ideas. But this was the least I could do. And now it looks like I can't even do this. Everyday, when I open my laptop, I first click on this blogger link and try to jot down the events of the day or at least everything I thought of writing for the past few weeks. It is nothing new that my writing has deteriorated, not that it was great earlier. Lets' just say I am in my worst writing phase. And to add to it, for the last week I was so adamant on writing that I have made it a point to write whatever may be the situation. Then there is my laptop. Thanks to it, for helping me beat the cr*p out of it. And still it doesn't work. The new disease that it has got is auto-restart, an addition to the earlier disease auto-shutdown. I usually thought it must be the over heating that is causing it to auto-shutdown. But for a couple of weeks now, it is auto restarting even before it even goes to the Log on screen. Thank you, dear laptop for encouraging and also persuading me to write even more. Even now I am writing as fast as I can before it restarts again. The last post encountered 6 restarts and 3 shutdowns. Well, that should make me enough frustrated already. 

Readers. There is nothing new about the receding count of the people that read my blog. And the previous posts were so nice that people have finally stopped visiting my blog altogether. But I was shocked and a bit amazed when an old friend of mine said he sometimes reads my blog when he is bored. Whoa, Wow! Though I can easily count the people reading this 'whatever it is called' on my finger tips. Anyways, thanks dude. And also thanks to the people who are visiting. I really appreciate it. It is you people who encourage me to write even more. So, thank you so very much. But what caught my eye was that I haven't been posting anything for the past few weeks, I mean months and the last time I checked, the stats said something else ( 200 + ) . Come on, what is happening ?Is that all spam ? #Damn

Twitter. Well, Twitter is not new for me. I started using it when I was in my first year. But most people whom I know, are not so much of a fan of Twitter. I used to tweet back in those days. And no I don't tweet these days. I just read other tweets and retweet them. That's pretty much I do almost every day, I mean the whole day. So, to keep myself updated with the tweets of a few known people and blogger friends (I can call them/you people friends, right?), I enabled the notifications. And what happens when you own a smartphone is that the updates come directly to your phone. Cool, innit? Yeah. What more is that there is a tweet notification in the notification bar, then a SMS to the phone about the tweet ofcourse and also an email notification. So, when a person tweets, I get almost three tweets. So, when I keep my phone in silent mode and look it after say like half an hour, I find a huge number in the notifications.

iPhone. Don't you find the people who own an iPhone just being too cocky about their new possession. The problem is that a guy in my room just bought an iPhone. Not actually bought it, more like brought it from abroad and that also the old piece which is iPhone 4. Owning an iPhone is not the problem, the attitude is the problem. Okay, you own an iPhone, but just don't brag and drag about it about. Come on, seriously. I too own a smart phone, the new one, as a matter of fact and just costs exactly the same as the new iPhone and my friends didn't even know about it for 2 weeks. 

Relationships. Okay, I am out of here. Come on, I shouldn't even be speaking about it. But the boredom at office is sort of compelling me to. One of the new guy into the office has a crush on a certain lady. Not, this lady isn't the first one, not the last one. He has his options ready and usually says to me you have keep fishing until you catch a fish. As being single those thoughts do creep into the mind. And then I strike those from my mind because I know myself and I ain't capable of that. Then you see people in groups of two almost every f#ing place. And then again, those thoughts again creep back in. But nothings gonna happen, because first of all I won't try and then again I am no good. So, people I mean girls, You got nothing to worry about! But if anyone's interested, you know where to find me. Did I say too much? #OkBye #Awkward

Pseudonym. I have been beating the crap of my brains inside out and outside in as well. The cloak of invisibility is difficult to adorn, mostly after all that I have done. It took me like 4 years for a decent number of people to read my blog. Thank you all. And again if I start all over again, first of all I won't be able to do that, and secondly my writing is just easy to find out. So, why do I want a pseudonym? I wish I could answer that. I feel its better to be the puppeteer than being the puppet. Because if I were former, I could change the puppets but since I am the later, I can't change the puppet. You get the point right? No? Okay Fine. Lets' not talk much about it. I myself am getting confused here. 

So, by now I might have successfully proven that I have lost my mind ! 


  1. I'm going through the same phase in writing, and the feeling of losing myself has been haunting me too.

    I hope we get through this!!

    1. Oh, You too? I thought you were done with that phase.

      Yeah, I hope we get through this. :)

  2. "But if anyone's interested, you know where to find me. Did I say too much? #OkBye #Awkward"

    Haha! This is what I love about your posts, the absolute in-your-face honesty :D I'm still around, but my similar lack-of-writing-spiel also trangresses onto the commenting-on-other-people's-blog graph also. Sigh!

    1. Ok, that's a lot of hyphened words. :P #JustKidding

      Why, Thank You. :)
      Same is the case with me. Sigh!

  3. Haha...what you are doing with Twitter, i used to do with Facebook... whenever notification comes... a message and a mail...and i get a lot of notifications because previously i added a lot of people because there are a lot of people from abroad in my friends list whom i added for some games and i dont even understand their posts but other posts that i want to actually see get drowned... my mail became like a huge spambox and finally i disabled :(

    What the hell are you saying about not getting any ideas to write? you need an idea #Justkidding :P

    But if anyone's interested, you know where to find me. Did I say too much? you said it....and now the tales of ajays too many girlfriends will begin :P

    1. So you disabled it, I still didn't !

      Yeah, you just said the same thing. :P

      First of all - Bring it on, bring it on. :D

  4. That's the reason I join the blogging communities. When your mind is blank, it gives you topics to write about. Try it :)

    All the best!

  5. AK, for me, this phase of yours worked. I always wanted to read you but,your posts until now were inter related and as I wasn't following you from a long time so I couldn't read your recent ones. I felt like I was missing something. I did try to start form the beginning but, (I would give you the lamest and the most cliched excuse for that) - Not enough time! Hah!

    1. Hey Dhara,
      So this post work, right ?
      Glad to hear that. :)

      I highly recommend you not to spend too much time, trying to read from the beginning. I am not that worth it.

      But, thanks do much for dropping by. I really appreciate it.
      Thanks, again. :)


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Bangalore, Karnataka, India
| Writer | Photographer | Split Personality Disorder | Foodie | Music | Art | God-Fearing Atheist | Movies | Golf | Soccer | Dance | Mentally Stable Psychopath |