Tuesday, March 18, 2014

The Hairy Story.


So, after a long time I have been able to keep my hair intact. Though the perpetual truth about the loss in the same is not to be mentioned. We guys have that fear of becoming bald. And when we see that out hair is falling, oh god, save the mankind, we do all kinds of stuff to not-make-it-fall. I am a little away from becoming bald. So, for now I cherish it like anything. I cherish in such a way that I am the acting catalyst in the shedding process. One day it is on the left side and the other day on the right and that varies too and you wouldn't want to know. Believe me, not even girls would do so many things, umm, well not my mom. 

So, the hair loss problem. I have no idea how to deal with it. But it sure is a serious problem. Because a while back, nearly four years back when I was in college, a guy was just scared that his hair might somehow shed and that he won't be able to MARRY anyone, or should I put it in this way : No girl would ever marry him. He was scared about the future. And that was the time, when I was applying all kinds of things to my hair to make it look good, and I was failing in every attempt to say the least. But I had always thought that hair is the only better part of me. So, I do all kinds of stuff to it to make it, say awesome. 

Last year in the month of December, I kind of challenged a friend over twitter that I would also put up a display picture like them as their photos had half of the hair covering half of their face and well that's a half face photo (something they copied from from me, which they won't accept, *sigh*). And though my hair looks like as if a girl had a boy cut plus a few inches, I couldn't make it cover my my face completely. In time, I will. Unless I go home. 

So, two months back when I was home, I was pretty sure that my parents would kick me out, if I hadn't had a hair cut. But fortunate enough for me, I somehow managed to escape as it was cousin sister's engagement and there was no time to go out and have a hair cut. There was one time when my dad took me to the saloon and I was sure that my precious hair will see its fate, but again I somehow escaped. Then when I was back again for marriage after a month, I was pretty sure that they were going to cut my hair in my sleep as I wasn't getting it done anywhere. But two things happened. 

They didn't ask or say anything, which was surprising because they would really bring that topic every now and then and tell how miserable and ugly I look in that long hair.
Secondly, I had made up my mind to confront anyone who would point a finger or raise a word about my hair. I was sure that I was going to give it back to them. But nothing like that happened. Damn, where did all my ego and all that go? An old fellow approaches me whom I don't know. As he smiled I also smiled. But he came towards me and started talking. I assumed that he must be some far family friend or relative whom I had never met. But the first thing he said was about my hair. There. !@#$@$)$I_)($#@*@()!@#$%^&*. All that went in my mind. I was kind of pissed. I don't even know you man and with that excuse he was saved. I didn't say anything. And then I was surprised when a guy who was setting up the music system asked me whether I was growing my hair for how-do-I-put-it  God. Like when we ask god for something and in return we offer something like barter system! What do we actually call it ? Obeisance? Or whatever it is. So, he asked me whether I was growing hair in reverence to what I know nothing about. 

When my roommate spends like a three months salary on something that sure as hell is not going to happen which goes like this : Growing hair using some tablets and medicines and that oil, this shit, that shit! And after like a period of six months there is no visible growth except just believing that the hair is growing and trying to reassure himself. I mean come on, does that even work, like implanting a root in a barren field. It sounds more like growing a tree without the seeds, and if you are saying that the medicines act as he root, I won't debate with you. Sure, go ahead, knock yourself out. 

Isn't everyone obsessed with hair these days. Yeah yeah, don't say look who's speaking! I am, I know. But everybody else are also. From spiky hair to shaggy hair, people try everything. Even that Miley Cyrus army cut. God, I close my eyes when I come across. For guys, it's okay. It is manageable. But for girls, why? The other day I was waiting for a take out order while one of my friend drops by. The first thing he says after shaking hands with a smile is about the hair. I was feeling that it looked, umm, awesome? No? Is it that obvious to figure out that it doesn't look as cool as I think. Then after a few minutes a friend from another city was visiting Bangalore as his sister stays here and he dropped by my room to invite for the expedition he planned for the next day. And again, after saying a Hi, he says, "Please give me some hair man!". Hair loss is sure a problem. There should be some cure for it. Because people wold be thinking more about the loss than the actual work they are supposed to do. I am working to hard and that's why my hair is falling. May be since I am traveling in Bike in this weather, my hair is falling. May be I drink too much. May be I smoke too much. May be I don't eat much or the opposite. May be I don't eat healthy. May be it is the helmet that is causing this shedathon. And there is no end for these assumptions. 

The only explanation I could give is because you are thinking too much about hair. Just don't. Let it grow in peace and give yourself a break from worrying too much about the loss. You are stressing yourself by worrying to much. Stress equals headache equals more stress equals impatience equals Too-much-worrying equals hair loss. Okay, I agree that was S.T.U.P.I.D. I was trying to sound intelligent here but it got way off. 

Okay this is just in. I was walking to my bus stop and I come across a friend who again the first thing he does is talk about my hair. It sure as he'll must look creepy. So he says , "Hey, you look like a girl. Cut it down a bit. Or pull it back." I just reply with a reassuring smile that I will get something done. So, I think I need you people to suggest me a new cool and funky hairstyle. Anyone ? Anyone ? Please. 

P.S. : There is no Post Script. It has become my habit to end a post with a ps even if there isn't one. And yeah I could really use some help how to maintain long hair. Please, anyone? Anyone? Just a few tips is all I ask. Now look who is worrying / obsessed. 

- The Blue Phoenix (27.365)

57 comments:

  1. I hav nothing to say except that I want to go bald!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did I just read it correct ?
      You want to go bald ?

      Why, madam ji ? Itni kya aafat aa gayi ?

      Delete
    2. I don't know, your post kind of sent me that vibe plus I don't like my hair as much as you do (like a 1 on 10 in likeness meter)

      Delete
    3. :-O
      No way! I was right when I said you were one of those studious type people who don't care much about hair or internet and well, what do you do ? Study ofcourse

      Or may be you have awesome looking hair that doesn't need to be taken care of.

      Coming to me, hair is the only part I feel is better than me. Seriously! (in terms of looks or whatever) So, I spend hell lot of time to make it look better, but I know I mess it up even more. :-/

      So, if we consider that, you must look awesome (in terms of looks), plus your hair is naturally beautiful (just like yourself). #OnlyPossibleExplanation

      Delete
    4. Trust me it is actually quite the opposite to your explanation that is why I hate them:-(
      I have them short so that they require least maintenance and I stay happy. All that oiling and shampooing and conditioning is way too much job for me!
      And plz stop calling me the studious type! I am so not!

      Delete
    5. So, I was right about the last point then.
      Beautiful You.Beautiful Hair!

      I too have it short (which is usually very very long for boys).
      Least maintenance, huh? I see! And you are prohibiting me from calling you studious, but not from that all-time-studying-person! I think I can make that out.
      I am sorry. I was just kidding.

      Okay, you are officially the first(second) person after my mom who is saying oiling, shampooing and conditioning is way too much job. :-P

      Delete
    6. I don't know if I am beautiful or not but my hair is certainly not
      By the way my name means beautiful ;-)
      Oh god I can't picturize u wid long hair. I always had this image of you with really short cropped hair. Oh god I really can't imagine u! B-)
      Trust me I am neither of them as opposed to who I shud b (kind of evident frm my recent posts)

      Well ya they are kinda tough you know all that trouble just for your hair! I wud seriously go bald!

      Delete
    7. So, one thing is cleared.
      Oh, awesomeness. ( Okay, I literally thought a lot of time for the names. I even wrote some here, but then. May be I got to open the Hindi dictionary and find the name(s). :-P )

      Umm, I could share a pic. Or not! And I don't look that weird in long hair. I think.

      Okay, I just have to take your word for it.
      And I was just wondering why I am still not getting your posts in the blogger feed. So sorry. I missed to read all that. Damn.

      Well, please don't go bald. :-P

      Delete
    8. I would love to know what all you came up with! Seriously please share!

      Well let me be the judge of that so u hav to share!

      Me too am also not getting your posts on the feed so I have to come out here everyday.

      I might just luk gud if I go bald ;-)

      Delete
    9. No. You don't want to. I am not good at all at that. Plus, I was thinking whether it meant 'beautiful' or not! And I even used Google. I feel it would be better if you only tell.

      Okay. But don't get scared. I am sharing this perfectly photoshop-ed ( :-P ) picture ( or the only pic I feel I look good in). Though you are not in FB, I think you can still see the photo : My Photo

      Yeah, I saw that too. The feed is updated a day later. Don't know what's wrong with my profile. By the way, could you add the subscribe through email widget in your blog, so that I could get your posts directly though email (hopefully as soon as you post).

      May be. But I won't let that happen. Don't worry.

      #CurrentlyReadingYourPosts God, I missed a lot, didn't I? And you write a lot during exams also.

      Delete
    10. Ya it actually does mean beautiful nd I will only tell after u tell me wat u came up wid

      I thought I had that at the very bottom. Let m c, I will add if its nt there

      Oh god from how many things will u save me
      Oh god how I wish u were my real brother!!!

      Ya I did! I just had to, to escape all the tension

      Delete
    11. Saw ur photo -
      Nd that is not how I imagined u wud b!!! U really do have long hair for a guy :-P :-D

      Delete
    12. Okay, give me some time. I am on your last post.

      Yeah, I saw. Subscribed. Thanks. :-)

      I am your bro. So, it is like one of my duty.
      Well, you can still call me your bro, real or not, does that really matter as long as I care. :-D

      Yeah, I figured that. But that's a good thing. :-)

      P.S. : You could talk to me anytime. You could fine me anywhere anytime. See that contact me tab at the top of the page? There I have given like everything about me. So, you could start a hangout/twitter/skype/whatsapp/hike/telegram/bla bla, anything. Feel free to ping anytime. I am available 24x7, unless my internet is down or battery down or power failure.

      @Photo : I think you forgot to mention how creepy I look. #trueStory
      Is it really very long? I mean is it good or bad?
      By the way, did you read where I mentioned that I looked like a girl.
      And one more thing. That photo was taken more than a month back. So add another inch. Okay, don't imagine. #okBye

      Delete
    13. Take your time :-)

      Right you are!

      I wud for sure keep that in mind :-)

      Ok u need some learning on saying 'I am great no matter what others say'
      And its not creepy :-P

      Delete
    14. Okay, thanks. :-)

      Great. :-D

      It might take sometime to digest the lie and say it. :-P But I will try.
      Now, I know you are kidding! :-P

      Delete
    15. Now that just proves how badly you should learn it!
      No I was not kidding

      Forgot to mention you should get a hair cut if its an inch longer else I would also be like - dude you are a girl :-P

      Delete
    16. Oh, one of those #HenceProved things, is it?
      I will learn, may be.

      Okay, I just have to take your word for that again.

      I think I already got it covered. I look like a girl. :-/
      I am not a girl though, I just look like one, if I remove the beard.

      And hey, please help me with the hair styles, if you have anything in mind. Please drop in your opinions/suggestions.

      Delete
    17. Oh common I know u r not a girl (rite? :-P )
      And trust me (again) I am the wrong person to ask this wud b the last thing I would have knowledge for :*)

      Delete
    18. Yeah. Right!

      Oh, I won't mind. Please, shoot away if you have any. :-)

      Delete
    19. I can't believe myself saying this but I guess - Billy Ray Cyrus looks good with style he has, maybe u can copy him or else I wud hav to google it for u

      Delete
    20. I still have to grow a bit more for his hair style.
      Oh no, don't.

      Was just asking if you something in mind. But its alright. Thanks, though. :-)

      Delete
    21. Are u kidding me!
      Grow more hair!
      Why don't you become like those 'baba types' with long hair and long beard ! That would b gr8!

      Delete
    22. Haha, Lol.
      I am just trying this out. Lets see how this turns out to be. :-P

      Delete
  2. Why don't your posts show up in my list.. I am so annoyed with that!! I decided to stalk you and here I find so many posts I missed.

    Lol I feel evil for putting you through the questioning with your long hair. MUHAHA...but nevertheless I am looking forward to that new display picture.

    And yes take care of your hair!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So am I! I really don't know what to do about it!

      Lol. :P
      You have to wait, I guess. :P

      Yeah. And hey, any tips ?

      Delete
  3. Wow! An entire post dedicated to hair:P
    Well! I don't care about my hairs and I dunno why:/
    Regarding suggestion- go get an army cut,looks hot on boys

    .ohh oops you love your hair,bad suggestion:P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What can I say, I'm a little obsessed.

      No. Not you too. Girls are supposed to. Isn't it so ?

      Army cut? It doesn't suit me well.
      And thanks. I asked for suggestions and that meant what you like. So, it's a good suggestion. :)

      Delete
  4. And use amla shikhai oil:P :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Got it, ma'am. Thanks. :D
      But is it as good as they advertise ? #justCurious

      Delete
  5. Thinker and you need to exchange your your numbers. Seriously. I thought, Ajay ki to aaj nikal padi ! 25 comments! :P
    I love trolling you dude! :D So, for a change I thought I would bring some happiness into your life and nominated you for some motherfucking blogger award on the top of the list! :D And about that happiness part, I lied. Questions are gonna make you suffer :P

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hmm.

    Yeah, I know.
    The award sounds interesting.
    I knew you would bring that shit. Bring it on. :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wait why does he think we shud xchange numbers? Nd wat does trolling mean?

      Delete
    2. The intensity and frequency of comments might have given the feeling that we were chatting through comments, may be. But nevermind. :-)

      Trolling is like punching in the face sarcastically through words (umm, that's one way to put it). Simply, just pulling the leg, you could call it.

      Delete
  7. Umm ok! Really never mind! WHATEVA!!! o.O

    Ohk!!! It just sound weird
    Actually I kind of compared it wid those giant trolls

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly, what I said. :-)

      Yeah, I know. You should get onto Facebook. There is a lot happening in the Internet slang. And you are missing it. :-P

      Delete
    2. Omg on fb to learn internet slangs! That is probably the last thing I would do in my life! Actually I wudnt do it at all! :-D

      Delete
    3. it would be more dirty,classic American movies that will give you the slang ¬_¬
      And Hey man, why do you want corrupt an innocent child with slangs? ^o^:P

      Delete
    4. Oh okay. Don't worry.
      I will fill my blog with it then. :P

      Yeah, I figured it out. :-/

      Delete
    5. I was speaking about Internet slangs. I think I specified that clearly, Genius!
      Not an actual "slang" in actuality.

      I wasn't trying to. :-/

      Delete
    6. Ok to both of you I KNOW SLANGS
      Mayb not all of them but enuff to survive in 21st century!
      Its just that trolling was indeed a bit weird nd when I looked it up it said something totally insane on the lines of deriving sexual pleasure!

      Delete
    7. Great. :-)

      Okay, hold it right there! You might be looking at the wrong place.
      Here. May be this helps.

      Delete
    8. Well I looked it up in a dictionary and it is also a slang used in ref to homosexuality!!! Look that up, u mite get wat I mean
      So basically I got scared! That this cant b happening!

      Delete
    9. Okay, but not want to do that.
      I am fine with the knowledge that I have.

      Don't be. That wasn't happening at all.

      Delete
    10. Gr8 save yourself frm the shocks!!!
      Thnx for saving me from a shock ! :-D

      Delete
    11. Yeah, sure will. :-)

      Anytime. :-D

      Delete
  8. Give me some hair man! #Juskidding
    I am under the impression you do that stuff too no? trying different oils/shampoos and stuff? Come on. tell me your secret oil/shampoo :P

    Damn! It suits you so well!I envy you :/
    and how the hell did i miss like 4 posts of yours i have no idea....i suspect my fb is hacked!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, take this !
      Oh yeah. Everything. I try almost everything. That the secret recipe. :P

      Suits me ? You are the first person to tell that. Thanks though!

      Ah no, its' my blogger feed. Just one messed up shit. No idea what wrong with it. :(

      Delete
    2. Mr.Perfect's perfect hair ;)

      tried too many things did you? like the #powerpuffgirlsrecipe :P

      Dude, share it manually on fb then!

      Delete
    3. Duh! #NoArgumentThere :P

      Exactly. Don't worry, I will come to your stage pretty soon. Just a couple of more such experiments and voila, I am bald altogether. :P

      Share what? How to become bald in hours? :P I don't think I need to make a certain appearance for that, people already know it. :P

      Delete
    4. you? bald? Hard to imagine!

      Give more description so i can get a clear print in my mind to satisfy my ego :P

      Delete
    5. Yeah, I know.
      And believe me, it won't be a pretty picture, per say!

      Why do you want to have a mental picture of everything? :O :P
      #YourEgoSucks :P

      Delete
    6. you need ask?

      mental picture - ajay *** face...wait thats his normal face...oh well :P

      Delete
    7. Yes !

      See! You dont have to work hard either ! :P

      Delete
  9. I read your article for the first time today even though I think I have commented on it twice or thrice maybe. Your hairy story is umm.. how do I put this? Unique? But it can't be unique. Afterall, every other guy faces the same problem. For saving your hair maybe you should shampoo them daily. I have to shampoo my hair daily, otherwise, it's such a mess on my pillow! And I am trying to keep an SRK style choti :P You can try that. Might look better on you.
    And lastly if it helps,try going to the gym.If you were had to go bald you should be doing so in style then! Like Vin Diesel. Or Jason Statham! :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Uh, okay!
      It isn't unique in any way.

      I can already do the SRK style pony tail.

      Haha. For that you need height also. Else it will be like Aamir Khan and his over-sized chest, which doesn't actually look good.

      Delete
  10. Been there, done that! I have a hereditary problem with hair and hence nothing stops my hair fall. Added to it is the fact that we keep moving cities for studies, work and stuff. I tried everything and finally decided to let it go. Worrying about it does not make my hair any better. I might as well be bald but stay happy in life. :P So not worrying about it now.

    Funky hair styles huh? Google it, you'll get weird ideas :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly. I have also stopped worrying about it. Because I feel that worrying itself promotes to the hair loss. Yeah, you are right about stay happy in life!

      Yeah, I am getting weird ideas but not funky ones. :P

      Delete

So, what do you think ?

About Me

My photo
Bangalore, Karnataka, India
| Writer | Photographer | Split Personality Disorder | Foodie | Music | Art | God-Fearing Atheist | Movies | Golf | Soccer | Dance | Mentally Stable Sociopath |