Monday, May 18, 2015

The stranger you haven't met. Yet.

The morning is bright and shining its glorious light waking you up from your dreadful sleep. You never gave it much thought. It has always been the kind of feeling, that your mind and heart are at battle over something, which you are not quite sure what it is. You have been thinking, which is unusual. It is not like you don't think, you do think occasionally but you don't think too long on a something or to be precise about her. You are still not sure who she is, what she is, but still, you ponder into the oblivion trying to figure out what is it that you are feeling, what it is that is keeping you awake all night. You saw her a couple of times and you felt the same thing every single time she made her presence felt to your eyes. You are confused. 

You see her again. The first time was more of a glimpse, a blurred image dangling in your conscious and that, which left you sleepless. You are not feeling quite right. Something is happening, is it your mind or your heart? 'Argh',  You let out sigh because you feel that no matter how round the earth might be, there was no way you would be able to see her again. But may be it was your fate or destiny or some similar catch-phrases or perhaps say a miracle, you rub your eyes just to make sure you didn't slide into that small bubble called dream. She was real. She is real. You see her. You forget something, to look away. Your eyes trail her every move. You slowly realize that everything except her is in the colors of two, black and white. She was in bright colors, looking splendidly under the warm morning sun.

She takes a seat across you, but a little far. You have the urge to take a closer look, may be even sit just right across her. But you don't want to give her an impression that girls get when they realize that a guy is creeping up closer. You want to sweep her off her feet with the agility and charm and you realize that you need to work out a bit. You shake the thoughts and drown into the dream like reality. You are awake yet lost. You see the bright brown eyes shining with charm as of there is a twinkle in them and you realize that they are smiling. You watch the  eyes brimming with innocence and which could smile. You have looked at the mirror a million times and your's never did. She takes out her book to read and trails the spoon in the across the edges of the coffee cup. She drowns herself into that book. She is in another place, another world that the book had to offer. She smiles once in a while and your heart melts as if she looked at you smiled. You see the dimples in that brief moment and sink in the candidness of her perfection. You see the curve they make and  you feel the heart racing, beating loudly as if you had sprinted non stop for a very long stretch. Your eyes do the magic of taking it all in, slowly sinking in the beauty as the breaths become heavy.

Your phone rings a couple of times. Probably it was work or some customer care trying to promote their new offers on the network or may be it was your mom checking up on you whether you had your lunch or not. But you are too busy, or perhaps too lost to respond. You slowly notice the soft curls dangling, like a chandelier, bright, think and dark, shining and exquisitely beautiful. May be you are smitten by her beauty that you find everything beautiful, but no. You have never seen anyone like her who would keep your heart racing and on your toes and lost at the same time. You are pushed back to earth when someone stands in front of you obstructing a beautiful view. Your colleague tracks you down and literally drags you to work. You know that it was an important day at work, but you had forgotten about it. You shake your head and embrace the reality. You turn to give her a final look before you dissolve into the crowd hoping that she gives you a peek. You have this weird feeling, churning in your stomach that this will be the last time you will see her. But, hope is all you are left with.

You retire for the day to the same coffee corner after a series of endless seminars, presentations and meetings. You look around. You know that it was pointless, yet that little thing called hope never gives up. He reluctantly sips his coffee re-imagining the afternoon, her. Suddenly, you smell a lavender filled the air and you feel the silk brushing your hand and someone pretty stands in front of you. It was her. You don't believe you eyes. Yet, you don't want to pinch yourself. Even if it a dream, you don't want to end. You sink in the sweetest voice, like an enchantment that is binding you in comfort, while the heart starts racing so fast that you feel like you will pass out anytime soon. You stumble to figure out what was happening around you and she says, "Is this seat taken?" holding her vanilla filled chocolate pastry melting in its warmth. You try to appear calm and coy at the same time while your mind races through a million alternatives to say to her in response and you say "No,.. please .." gesturing her to take the seat. Your mind is now an unstoppable wagon draining out of words to say, to strike a conversation. You come up with a million alternatives yet you don't know where to begin. You curse yourself under your breath. You want to make a lasting impression, but how is haunting you to death. You finally make up your mind and as you try to say it you feel a gentle push on your shoulder, "Is there anything you would like to order", says the waiter gesturing that it was time to close up. You look across your table and the realization weighs you down. You can't believe it was a dream as it felt surreal. You dozed off to her thoughts after a couple of minutes and it had been hours while the coffee became cold. And deep down you feel that there is a chance somehow, somewhere in the near future that you would see her again and strike up the conversation that you have been building up and that the next time you don't doze off.

P.S. : This is a work of fiction. No, it hasn't happened to me. I wasn't describing my experience. Yes, I hope for that to happen someday to me. 

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

The emptiness

Hushed voices echoed into oblivion
The voices, which once spoke volumes
Which once broke the barriers
Silenced in the agony, of life.

Hope was left to scar
Thoughts were pulled into trance
Words lost their purpose
While the voices, what voices?

As the scars dug deeper,
As the expressions felt astray
As the emotions faded into apathy
Mind hushed the reminisce.

Shouted, shouted till the lungs burst
Cried, cried till there were no tears left
God collects your tears, they said
Why did he even give tears?

Light faded in the sunshine
As the sun sprang from the east
Was there even a silver lining ?
In the inane thunderstorms

Empty was the nightfalla
Stars which stopped twinkling,
Stories were left vacuous
The life, the charm that it lost.

- ak

P.S.: I haven't been writing poetry for a long time now. Hope this doesn't suck as much as I think I would. Bear with me, please. #outOfTouch #Procrastination #bloggersBlock

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

This day...

The gender disparity. Aren't we tired of it, already? I see people judging, passing comments, making rules, banning stuff and taking it up a notch by going social. I just saw a guy taking a picture on his phone standing between two cars in the middle of the road, with no regards for the general public whatsoever obstructing the traffic in the busiest hour of the day and he loves his car, so what? Having a car and a smartphone doesn't make one an ideal person when his intention is to put it on the social media either trying to get "justice" or blame someone. But, but then again there are people whom we call educated, but yet they don't seem so educated. Let me quote my dear colleague who stress on a statement at least once in a day. His statement : "Girls shouldn't be allowed education". So the logical question would be regarding you, "Should you be allowed education?" But you are already educated, aren't you? And it clearly looks like you are not. Not even a bit. 

A few months earlier, there was a debate going on at the corner of the office floor where the ladies were defending their stand while this gentleman (I am being polite here. Sorry. This stupid person who claims to know everything but is actually a dud) decided to voice out his opinions stating that the women are supposed to be confined to homes. 
A valid counter argument was made which goes something like this : 
It could bee dated back to the inception of time that the man is the provider of the family and that women are restricted to homes. In the early days before people started socializing, a family in general needed food for survival. Then it was decided that man would go out to fetch some food since he is physically stronger and also that it would be logical that he would do the hunting while the women would take up the responsibility of protecting the home and taking care of their childred. (So who is the hero here?) As the time drifted it just got imbibed into the minds of the people that women are supposed to be confined to home doing the household chores while the men are the money making machines. And people are still following it as it has been a culture that has been set by ancestors(what? what kind of shit is that?). I mean, I don't understand. With changing time, people are supposed to update themselves staying within the realms of the present, the now. Are we still hunting with stones and sticks? Are we covered in mud, covering ourselves with leaves and animal skin? Haven't we changed? Yes? Haven't we become more social, advancing and improving ourselves woh time? Yes? Then why not the thinking? There are educated people and then there are educated fools. I am sorry to say that the latter aren't educated at all. It would be a disgrace to fools also. When such an argument is made making the men feel a little under the foot, there arises the ego problem. Oh, man and his ego, his superiority status, his heart breaks when a woman beats him, be it anything per say. That hurts self proclaimed ego maniac at the right spots and his response is to defend his age old status with idiotic baseless logics and well of course his stupidity.

The paradigm is that we are moving forward with time but unknowingly stepping backwards by blindly following what our so called ancestors have laid for us, the people who we are consider to be more intelligent than the people we are now. So, this estranged intellectual speaketh his mind. His argument is that it has been told by the so called learned ancestor junta (the society-rules creator or whatever they are called or referred to as) during the inception of creating a rulebook for the society, for the religion for the people of the country. A handbook of sorts that was quite acceptable at that time because firstly, at that time people were divided into different sections based on the work they did, which meant that whatever the people-with-a-feather-and-ink said was imprinted on the rocks and were laid as the foundations for the future generations. Please note that these people were well versed in all books and had knowledge of the umpteenth level. Fast forward to now, that rule book has become obsolete and needs to have some real changeover, like rewritten from the scratch. But... but people still hold it to make a point that their great ancestors weren't stupid to write this stuff down and pass this "knowledge" over so many generations. Nobody was/is calling them stupid, they were intelligent during their time and their confines knowledge at that time can't be used as reference in this time zone hundred of years later. Wake up.

Anyway, my dear colleague had the audacity to say that the girls shouldn't be allowed education and even if they did receive formal education, they shouldn't be allowed to work. And the very same reason he gave for marrying a non-working girl. He actually made it a point while searching for a suitable bride to his parents. And then, he doesn't want to any of the working ladies(sitting all around him) to meet his wife because they would give her new ideas, their share of knowledge on maintaining things and likewise which in turn might back fire at his plans when his housewife decides to start making plans and taking initiative at work. I don't know whether his ego hurts seeing women being independent and successful or what, he is simply unhappy with the whole ladies working breed. When the information about his sister who works for a MNC and earns thrice of what he does is put as a statement, he is mum about it. There has been constant efforts going on around the world to level the gender gap in education, in work place, in a nutshell everywhere. And that is the very reason for implementing the reservation for women to cut down the disparity. No amount of logical arguments could convince an illogical mind which stays adamant on suppressing the opposite gender and confining them to homes. I wonder what he would do if he has a daughter one day. Would he confine to his thoughts by restricting her to education and working, her dreams to be precise. Only Time Will Tell.


Having said that, its just not this thing that bothers me. These days a lot of things are coming into light, a lot of things are happening which are centered or surrounding women. I can't even begin to describe and comprehend what is happening around and what we have come to. Its just heart breaking. I wish people grew up a little bit. Just a little bit would be a great leap.

PS: There might be a lot of places where you might find things changing drastically from one momentum to another. It is because I haven't been able to write in a single flow( Writer's.. Blogger's block and too much procrastination). So, apologies for that. I need to be more thorough and consistent while writing.

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Bangalore, Karnataka, India
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