Friday, August 28, 2015

Attraction.


The image lingers at the corner of the eye as she is engaged in a conversation, the voice you fathomed for so long and yet you make your utmost attempts to stay focused and not give to the image. The mind plays tricks - making you 'believe' that the eyes you are so desperate to see are staring at yours, fixated, examining you, piercing right through every fabric of your soul and wanting to stared back and searching for a friend in the your eyes, screaming to know the story being the struggling focused eyes. Believe. Make Belief.

And in that one vulnerable moment, they meet yours. Your weren't expecting. You weren't ready. Your heart slips a little, pacing faster and finding the lost rhythm. Impulse takes over and you shift the gaze at something else, something that doesn't even make sense, that corroded part of the wall that no one cared to look at, becomes your hindsight, just to disguise that you weren't staring at those gorgeous eyes, thin lined with slight mascara, almost invisible. 
Damn! A sigh you let out because you got caught, red handed. 
Damn! A sigh you let out a moment ago at the essence of beauty concealed behind those inquisitive eyes. You are lost. You don't understand why you are so scared to meet the eyes.

The heart races a bit against time. Rhythmic beats, loud and the face turns red. It is not normal. She is near, very near. You pretend as if you are busy, like solving a complex Heisenberg equation in thin air. But why? Why are you avoiding, if you don't want to be avoided? Why do you have to pretend? Why does your heart crush a little everytime she passes by? How does she do that? Why does she do that? 
Why not just let it out? Why play the game of cat and mouse, the cat and the mouse being you! Why ? Why is this so hard? What is happening? What is wrong with you? With me ? 
________________________

PS : My fellow readers and good friends think that I shouldn't move to Wordpress ! I don't know now. I am confused. 

Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Mayo..Sayonara.


Never Ending
What is more fascinating? That my page views are increasing exponentially even when I haven't written anything remotely as good. Or that there are some stupid bots that got into my blog somehow and its' just spreading the wildfire for no reason. Let me give you a peek.



Russiaaaa, Russia. Thank you! I am totally indebted to you. I don't really know why. But thanks, for helping me reach a minimum of thousand "views". I do want to shout "What the fuck" though, but lets' not make a big deal out of it, shall we?

La....la...lag
I never understood the principle on what it works on. Did I schedule it so? May be I did. Back in the day, I scheduled all my posts to be published after atleast a gap of 48 hours. It's a spell that no force on earth can break it. I did it.I don't see any other alternate explanation. I tried everything you know, everything that was available in the magic book and even tried the Harry Potter's wand. But lets' just say, It's pretty messed up.


Come on.


I think this is way too preposterous. One month. One month since I posted this poll. NOt even a single vote. What was the worst thing I ever did that shooed people away, far far away.  Anyhow, 400 more pageviews and that totals the pageviews to a whooping 15k. That will be last of it. Because after that, you might not find anything here. 

It has been a great six years. And I made better friends here. I hope you guys remember me, like I remember you.
Adieu.

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Second Installment.


Knock knock.
"There's no door", shouted the angry voices.
Oh, hey hi. How are you doing?
...
...
...
Anyone there?

Friendship Da-what?
They usually press the "Start" button before they begin. But I had observed that he hadn't. But then I thought I was just wrong when he pressed the "Stop" button. I shold have checked then and there itself. But I was trying to save battery. My phone has an addiction problem. It just needs to be given its dose every other hour, else it would just die. The movie was fine and finally decide to check up on my fans if they were feeling alone. After all it was friendship day. The mobile data was turned on and I stared at the screen as my battery drained from 80% to 69% in a couple of minutes. No updates. This was awkward. I decide to check up on the cab bill. I had traveled quite a distance and that too on a surge, which meant I had to pay double(nearly). But the bill was okay. I didn't get more into the details for two reasons - One being saving battery, the other being booking a cab back to my place. So, I switched off the mobile. Six post cards, especially for Friendship day were on display. Yes, I bought them without giving it a second thought. I thought I will give it to my frien.. (umm wait, nevermind. I totally forgot about the no friends thing for a moment). "Write. Start writing. NOW...." were the four words that I wrote in the entire hour that I was at the coffee shop sipping the coffee while Twitter distracted me. Cab- It was reasonable in the morning, so what the hell. Surge : 2.0x.  Bill : 320/-. What was the bill in the morning? 110/- with a 1.9x surge. So, where was the difference you ask. He didn't press the Start button in the morning. Yay, Friendship Day. 

Two's a charm.
Should I or should I not ? After quite a bad taste in my mouth as how the city had treated me, I was not sure. I lazed back from office and dropped at the same coffee shop. I order my usual coffee. Two weeks ago I had planned not to spend any more bucks on a coffee, because well, there was free coffee available at office and I could have it anytime and any number of times. Anyhow, I sit back while the guy behind the desk wants to indulge me into buying a coffee cup that was a Friendship Day special and was in display for quite some time and which was the one I had it until a week ago. I knew I had to get one. So, I told him to add it to the bill as well. He was kind of happy. May be he was new to persuading someone to buy. And that Friendship Day was over, those can't be used any longer. I hit back and start clicking Snaps for Snapchat. No I wasn't chatting with anyone. But I was making a sort of Daily entry for all the days that I had been spending in Kolkata. Though I forgot to do this for a week, mostly because I couldn't see that face anymore, or perhaps I just forgot. Anyhow, they come to my table a couple of minutes after I start drinking coffee. They give me a couple of Friendship Day cards, which were more like postcards but they were cool. If you have friends it would be really great. Now, I have 3 bunched of postcards. I bought one on Friendship Day, without thinking much, not realizing that I had way too few friends ( I think I do ).

Yes, I am okay! Okay?
Trying to impress people has always been difficult. So, there is this girl. Right? There is always a girl. But then it becomes more important for one to look better and hence dress better. Sometimes the mirror lies. And in my case, the mirror is the biggest liar I had ever know. It will show me as a good looking when I look like shit. Anyhow, that's not the point. My shirt had a few creases here and there. So, I came up with a plan to wear something to cover that up, like a sweater. I didn't realize that it drew a lot of attention. I had never had so many eyes fixated at me, probably thinking what kind of a stupid I was being.I was sweating alright. I wasn't when I had started from my previous night's chilled room. Anyhow, there I was sweating and people staring at me. I had to something. So, I stared back at them. Of course they had to look away because I was giving that "What's your problem" look! But I sure as hell couldn't change their thoughts that were swirling in their mind. Finally I reach office a sort of impression to others that I was sick and still came in to office. "Are you okay? Is your health alright?", a guy asked me looking at my eyes and my sweater and then again into my eyes. "Yes, I am". "Then why are you wearing a sweater." Then I had to fabricate some story that I was feeling cold. I was sweating a couple of minutes ago. I return with an awkward expression plastered on my face. "Hey, are you feeling okay?", the guy with the loudest voice ever shouted alarming me and almost everyone in the office. I somehow managed to dodge that too. 

Sister's Logic.
"If you look at someone and they look back at you. And when you look for the second time, if they look at you again, then it means that they are into you".  He did turn a few heads. He isn't quite sure where his interests lies, what he really wants. But he got the necessary "things" which is enough to turn the heads. "I need to make at least one girlfriend before we leave from here", he says piercing his gaze into a few 'hot' chicks here and there, not sure whom to hit at. He thinks I am stupid and I know nothing what is going around. 
But he was desperate, you see. and his eyes were similar to that of a pervert, when he "checks out" the girls. I have feared that I might look exactly what he was looking like and I had discarded from the idea of even "checking" out. Thanks to his creepy looks and the resented looks of the so stared upon ladies. Though, this has made me completely invisible. Like if I crossing the road and a girl is driving, she would still find th road empty. Probably I will end up with a few broken legs.

Ain't gonna listen to you!
He sits beside me ask starts out a casual conversation. He schedules a plan and tells about what he has on his mind. He even tells me to do what he 'assumes' is right. I nodded. I nodded at his attempts to take the initiate to tell me what to do and lose the eye on the big picture. I nodded in agreement to his side of the story. I too had one, but it depended on another person. So, basically I had nothing to counter him. After  couple of hours, when the information that I was waiting for wasn't anywhere near me. And I know that they wanted to keep it that way, hidden for me for as long as possible. I have had enough and prep'd up something 'harsh' to say and not to bend to anything they were going to put forward. We discussed about this earlier, didn't we? Yes, but you said, I listened. We didn't discuss. (No, I didn't say this, but I wanted to). I put forward what I think would be ideal for me. A and B. B and A. A because you said it. A because that's what you assume is right, FOR YOU. A because there is no one else to do it. A because I have been too stupid. There was no point arguing over something that is not likely to happen. No, there isn't really. I could take it to the next level, but I don't like to make a lot of fuss about it. Yes. Me. Stupid. Go ahead, say it. 
___________________________

PS : Go on a vacation.

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Breaking Fast.


Knock Knock. 
Anyone there ?
# 1
Where did the author go?
I have wondered the same for quite some time. What happened to writing and what happened to the whole write a story sequence? What happened to poetry and what happened to publishing a novel? What happened to  amaze the shit out of people and leave them in thought, deep ones? What happened to starting controversies and be at the middle of it? Or. What happened to that guy who talked and talked, umm correction, wrote and wrote, about the things he wanted to do and couldn't do? What happened to making people bore their senses out and yet look for the compliments? What happened?  I never knew being in love would keep one so busy and occupied. I never knew that having a girlfriend would be so distracting, distracting from the whole writing drama. I had thought that it would bring out the poet in me, or a writer in me, or may be the creative side in me. May be it takes time. Perhaps, tomorrow you will read a different me. Or. May be I was just lying about the whole thing, the later part of the opening paragraph. Of course I was. 

Nice people.
He said he had never seen any nice people in the city while I listened to him as he drove me to my place from the airport. I asked him how he came to settle here. His wife worked in the city, he said. He talked nice, buttered with words and sugar coated honey. He took the wrong turn while he inquired about the competition he might be having from a city too far away, perhaps it was an analogy to reassure himself that he is in a better state and that he is getting the same kind of money had it been a different city. Or perhaps it was just small talk. Though, I did ask him what made him how he felt about the city as he was a year old into the city. That was when he said that there weren't enough nice people. By nice, he meant honest people. He left me with a question when he ripped open my purse emptying it. The question being "Was he a nice person?"

Plate Full.
I had made a few plans of my own. But then someone else joined in the plans. Oh no, not just joined, barged in and walked all over it. Being the overly gentle person that I was, which I don't believe but still, I welcomed them and let them mess up with their dirty shoes. Time chimed and whisked faster than the blink of an eye. The unexpected guest took the initiative as if he knew how things worked. Zipper zapper. Honks and paralyzed air. This bull and that cow. Just in time for the flight and a very rich cabbie. Yes, something went wrong. I wasn't thinking clearly. The unexpected fool(the other F word appended with an er) was well, doing justice to his name while cabbie was playing the best trick he possibly could. I could care less. Actually, I do care and I should have, had it been any other day. I just had a lot on my plate and that plate was not looking so good. 

Double Date.
The smell of coffee pulled me towards it. It did every single time I walked past it. The coffee machine. Your choice. All you need is a coffee cup. I retired that day sipping coffee from the coffee shop I found on my way back. And it got me thinking. Everyday spending for coffee doesn't seem ideal when I could get the same for free. So, the next day ( a week later) I buy a coffee cup. Fancy. Magic cup, they said. Cold one color, hot one color. Day 4. Someone steals it. Prank, I reassured myself. But I didn't know anyone. Then, I tried to search, but I being new here wasn't the best way to embarrass myself. I conclude that some MF might have took it while I made some angry remarks at the stranger and then at God. (Why God? Oh, you have in for a treat. But that depends on how this turns out to be). Two days later and after searching for a few shops, I finally take the same cup. It is as if nothing really happened, like no one even stole my cup. I don't know why I did that. I really don't. But then again, when have I thought clearly.
______________________________

This is just the beginning. But then again, it could be the end. The verdict is in your hands now. 

About Me

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Bangalore, Karnataka, India
| Writer | Photographer | Split Personality Disorder | Foodie | Music | Art | God-Fearing Atheist | Movies | Golf | Soccer | Dance | Mentally Stable Psychopath |